7-31-2022 Update

Another month down! I have now completed 4 of 12 sessions for these new meds. Overall I am 50% complete with chemo (8 of 16 rounds done), 60% if you count it in weeks and 84 days in…but who’s counting?!😬🤷🏼‍♀️😂  I am trying not to get too focused on how many days or weeks are left and focus on the number of treatments since each time I go in for treatment, it’s never a guarantee based on how my blood work is. The morning of treatments I am anxious for whether I’ll be able to complete the treatment or not, my body has little time to recover in between so it’s always nerve wracking when I go in. They now ask me my stress levels prior to treatment and when they asked last week, I said it was a 5, with 10 being the max. I thought this was a good neutral answer considering a 5 is how I feel the mornings of and then it drops to probably a 1 post, little did I know a 5 makes them question if you need to talk to a therapist. We’ll, I quickly replied that I have talked to her a few times and the topic was dropped, now I know never say 5 unless I am consistently stressed, which I am not!  I read books, watch shows, color, work on my puzzle - there’s nothing stressful about that! I’ve slowed down and tried to allow my body to rest so my stress levels are light. 

This past week was a little rough as I have gotten more and more tired. I’ve learned that Tuesday - Thursday are the hardest.  Tuesdays I am exhausted because I haven’t slept the night before from all the chemo meds, even with the help of Ambien I am lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep.  Wednesday’s and Thursday's I am tired and very emotional (poor Chris gets lots of tears) from lack of sleep, menopause and just the want for this to be over so I can feel normal again.  Friday - Sunday I feel pretty good, just have funny food issues, and continue to work through what tastes decent vs good. Fruits, particularly mangoes, plums and peaches have been my favorite. Lots of smoothies and soft pretzels are another go to. My energy levels on these days are slightly better but I still get winded and try not to overdo it throughout the day. 

My eyelashes have fallen out and there are very few left now and my eyebrows have thinned out quite a bit, luckily, I still have some dye on my brows from when I had microblading done a few years that I can pencil them in easily. The rest of the hair on my body doesn’t grow and shaving my legs is probably done once a week, with an electric razor so I don’t cut myself, and honestly not sure it even does anything when I use it. I had to stop with the waterpark because it made my gums bleed, so that was a bit of a bummer, but at least I can still brush my teeth!

Chris and I had a picnic at a local park last night, watched the sunset and enjoyed the evening. It was nice to get out of the house; we’ll try to make this our new date nights until this is over and I can eat normally and am not a walking immunity risk, as I’ve said before I’m doing everything I can not to delay this any longer than I need to!  We had planned to take the Jeep out, but it is now out of commission for a bit, poor Chris, think good thoughts that it gets fixed soon…for both of our sake’s!  For those that don’t know, this was his 40th birthday present, he has a love/hate relationship with it while I have a pure love for it, but I am not the one busting my knuckles, burning myself and cursing at it, so when something goes right on it, I’m happy and so is he. She’s 37 years old, she’s not a spring chicken!

That’s all for now, thanks again for all the check ins and support. Sending our love!

 

Lauren (and Chris)

July 22 Update

 7-21-2022 Update

 

Hi, it’s Chris!

 

Lauren signed up for a walk in Newport for October 23, with the hopes that by then she’ll be done with treatment and can participate.  It’s through the American Cancer Society and is to support Breast Cancer research.  The goal is to be able to complete the walk, but Lauren understands that it might not be in the cards for her considering it could be so soon after treatment, so she’ll be recruiting whoever would like to participate in the walk and share in case you have the time to support her and Cancer research.  It is a fundraiser and of course we aren’t people who like to ask for money, but for once in our life, we are going to ask for you to support the research that has gone into freeing Lauren of Cancer.  If you’d like to join the walk, save the date!  If you’d like to support Cancer research, donate here:  Making Strides Against Breast Cancer - Lauren Yerkes

 

NO PRESSURE!  We don’t want money or sympathy; we just want this to be over and past us so we can go on with our lives and are grateful for funding that has already gone into making Lauren better.

 

It’s Friday!  Another treatment down for Lauren, one baby step close to a sense of normalcy in the Yerkes household.  This post will be two parts.  The first part will be about Lauren and how she is doing, how things are progressing thus far, and what’s to come.  The second part I will talk about me and how it’s been thus far.  It is up to you if you choose to read it or not.

 

Monday the 18^th

 

It’s been a little over three months since we first started writing about Lauren’s cancer diagnosis and more than two months since she started chemotherapy.  There is no sense of time for us.  Lauren and I often talk about how this process is taking forever, but then we think about how far we are into the process and how fast this whole process took over our lives at a lightning pace.  

 

Monday, we started the day speaking to Dr. Vandermolen prior to Lauren’s infusion.  It was a rather quick meeting just to check up on Lauren to see how she has been doing and to address a few questions Lauren had during the weekly infusion treatments.  No measurements were done, we assumed it’s due to the fact it cannot be accurately measured at this point.  The weekly infusions are different medications, which comes with different side effects, and we are having to adjust accordingly.  Have I told you I really like grilled cheeses?

 

Infusion went well, no real issues the day of, and luckily the time we spent at the clinic was one of the shorter visits since this whole process started.  Lauren did experience more than normal bouts of nausea this week compared to last week and the week prior.  Adjusting to her energy levels and the more frequent occurrences of nausea has put me on a heightened level of making sure she’s okay.  Nolan, Eric, & Darwyn, if you’re reading this, thank you so much for being so flexible with me at work.  I can’t thank you guys enough for the support.

Benadryl working gooooooood.

I have noticed that Lauren’s appetite has changed dramatically since the weekly infusions have started.  She seems to be more sensitive to smells and tastes compared to when she was on the bi-weekly medications, and there is a lingering metallic like taste in her mouth that she just can’t seem to shake.  There have been a few times where we have started to cook dinner and midway through, I can sense there is something not right with her.  After asking the same question “are you feeling okay” a thousand times, Lauren finally admits that the smell or taste of the food is upsetting her stomach.  We usually resort to scrapping whatever we were cooking and end up with a cheese quesadilla, or luckily my favorite, grilled cheeses.  Did I mention that I like a grilled cheese, really, I do!  We are constantly trying new things that are compatible with her wonky taste buds, and despite me complaining that there seems to be a never-ending flow of grocery delivers from Instacart, we just take it in stride and try something until it works.

 

Lauren is finally starting to get some decent sleep with the help of Ambien to counteract the steroids in the most recent medication.  The sleep issues, although it was apparent in the previous infusions, was not nearly as bad as it is with this medication.  Countless restless nights that were affecting her emotionally and physically.  The Ambien seems to be working so well that when I caught some scum trying to break into our truck, Lauren woke up to me yelling at the two guys.  When she asked what was going on, I told her that I caught two guys trying to break into the truck and I scared them off.  The next morning, Lauren had no clue what had happened until I mentioned it to her.  What a trip.

 

If you care to read about my experiences as a husband going through this, I would appreciate it, and please note that I am not trying to undermine the fight Lauren is going through, it’s just that I have been rather quiet as to what’s going on in my head for those who routinely ask me how I am doing.  For the few who know me, I am a rather quite guy who tends to keep to himself, but will openly engage in a conversation about anything, and I always try to make people laugh.  I will be frank about this; it is not easy being a husband whose wife is going through a life changing event.  Although Lauren is the one who is experiencing it mentally and physically, it’s affecting everyone who is connected to her.  It’s mentally and emotionally taxing, and never in my life would I have imagined that I would be in this position, and as much as I wished this would have never happened, I am willing to do anything and fight until she is better again.  For those who haven’t gone through this, we have witnessed it vicariously online, in the media, movies & TV, and perhaps you may know someone who has battled cancer but fighting it firsthand is an entirely different experience.

 

What I find the hardest for us is the inability to live life how we did before Lauren was diagnosed with cancer.  We have never lived a lavish lifestyle, that has never been our MO, but we do enjoy our date nights to dinner when we didn’t feel like cooking, taking mini vacations, or even seeing our friends and extended family.  All of this has come to an abrupt stop, and it’s been a hell of a hard time accepting it.  When I finally dropped off social media it pained me because I loved showing my love and support of my wife and the admiration for each other.  When I created the Instagram account to share with whoever was interested in our journey, it’s hard not to notice everyone else enjoying life cancer free.  It hurts.  I stay home as much as possible because I want to be there for Lauren if she’s not feeling well or is needing me, but most importantly, I don’t want to catch anything that may cause her to get sick which will lead to treatment being push back, further prolonging this process.

 

There are a million other things I could talk about, but for now, I just wanted to skim the surface and let people know what I am thinking about as I go through this process with Lauren.  If my responses come back short or extremely delayed, please do not take offense to it or think I do not appreciate it, I really do.  Sometimes I just need to think about my response, but most importantly, I might be doing something at the time to help Lauren out and I just can’t get to my phone. 

 

We will get a new post up sooner after her next treatment this coming Monday.  Have a great weekend everyone.  I will be busting my knuckles, bleeding, bruised, swearing at my Jeep as I work on for the next two days.

Love,

Chris

Yerkes, at your service.

Lesson #2: Service. 

Plus a few updates. 

If you know me well enough you know I am a people pleaser, a service person, someone who is always trying to make someone else happy. I didn’t think I’d be able to do that once diagnosed - I wouldn’t have the energy to bake for people, to provide the level of support and share ideas at work that I’ve always loved, and most importantly to be able to truly do everything at home to help my husband. Which also, side note, my husband is the same (we both get this trait from our wonderful mothers) and aim to please.

What I’ve learned though through countless conversations, phone calls, and text messages is that I am still a service person, still giving to people but now in a new way. A way that is what I think more impactful, deeper and ultimately making me more proud than mastering that perfect cookie, being the best boss/employee or being the wife that cooks, does the laundry, makes sure the fridge is stocked or we have things to do on the weekends.

The messages and calls I’ve received have shown me that I am giving in other ways right now.

- You make me/us so proud. 

- You are my hero.

- You’ve inspired me to take more pictures, to embrace the day, to go to the doctors.

- You are teaching me (and my kids) to be brave and strong.

- You’ve reminded me that happiness is something you create, it doesn’t happen to you.

- I am so lucky to be in your life.

- I think about you all the time.

I could go on and I don’t share this to brag, that’s not my nature and those that know me know I don’t brag, but I share to explain how someone whose focused so much on servicing others through tangible things that now my intangible actions are impactful and for that I am really fucking (excuse my French) proud.  I’ve always wanted to make a difference in someone’s life, whether that be personally or professionally and with these messages I feel like I am doing just that.  I want to be someone’s hero, to make them proud of themselves or someone else and to inspire them to be strong.  I am not here to make change with things I can’t control (that’s the doctors job right now) I’m here to make change in how I approach my life and those that I touch on a daily basis. To appreciate the little things, to make you value your relationships and to cherish your health, and lastly to remind you that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel. 

And also….what I love about most of this is that these messages don’t just stop with me, they often times are about Chris too! People continue to tell me how strong he is, how articulate he is when explaining all of this medical jargon that they feel like they are apart of our journey and understand what is happening, how inspiring he is with how he brings laughter to the their day and perseveres as a supportive and loving husband. This is Chris, he wants to help, wants to educate, wants to laugh and make others laugh. 

We are The Yerkes, at your service ☺️.

So this is my lesson for the day, I am still servicing, but in other ways.  I learn something new everyday about myself, my cancer, life, relationships, etc and I didn’t think my first lesson on Happiness would continue to spark so many other learnings that would help me to think about things beyond one instance, but it has and I hope that it continues so I can keep sharing. Lesson #3 is already cultivating and I’ll share once I have all the facts, but it’s purely that…factual and hopefully insightful.

And updates regarding treatment and side effects. I have completed #2 of 12 with my weekly meds! We met with Dr. Vandermolen yesterday as well. He did a brief check on my lymph nodes, legs (to make sure there is no swelling), side effect check/questions answered and sent me upstairs for my infusion. 

1. Weekly meds so far seem to be much easier to manage. 

2. Sleeping is still a challenge and I’ve now hit pre-menopause, which we knew would happen, so the night sweats are suuuper fun.

3. Nausea is much better, I had one day of it last week vs 5-7 days of it on the previous meds.

4. Metallic tastes are more apparent with these meds, thanks to the Carboplatin.

5. The bone pain I experienced late last week was not due to the Newlasta shot I would receive during the previous meds but is now due to a side effect of Taxol and should subside after a few treatments as my body gets used to it. This one seems so minor but when I take a shower, want a hug or get the smallest embrace, my shoulder blades and even through my jaw, its extremely sensitive. 

6. The feeling of heavy legs is a side effect of these new meds, I’m just being cautious especially when getting up and down stairs so as not to fall.

7. I can get a water pick (yahoo!) since I can’t floss my teeth.

8. As each week progresses they’ll continue to monitor my white blood cells and my ANC to make sure I don’t hit neutropenia. If anything drops below the norm this will delay my treatment and also create more trips up to Keck for blood checks. 

That’s it for now! We’ll update again soon.  Lots of love, Lauren

OMG and, I wanted to share because it made me a happy girl this weekend! We spent the evening at my sister and brother in laws house on Saturday and our niece and nephew made me Happy (lesson #1 captured). You can’t tell in this picture but my head is covered in blonde baby hairs that don’t grow past maybe 1/4”. Chris and my sister have now called me Baby Bird. Kane also told me, ‘hey, put your hair back on lady’ 😂, thanks Bubba for the laugh! And both kids enjoyed rubbing my head and taking my head scarf and asking if they could mimic being bald 😜, being a cowboy, a bank robber, a rockstar, etc. 

July 7 Update

 7-7-2022 Update

Happy July to everyone.  Hope everyone had a great holiday spending time with friends and family and came out unscathed with all limbs and appendages intact.  Lauren and I spent the holiday enjoying our new outdoor dining table umbrella and I barbequed a nice fillet for me and some nasty sea creature (shrimp) for Lauren, played a little Jenga giant, and prepared for Lauren’s Tuesday’s infusion.  From this point on, for the next twelve sessions, Lauren will be having an infusion once a week versus once every other week.  The anxiousness of the new treatment plan weighed on us as we became accustomed to the regiment of infusions occurring every other week, a few days of her feeling like shit, and then a solid week of trying to live a normal life.

 

Tuesday started out like the other days driving down PCH to Keck Medicine in Newport Beach.  We were on time, checked in at the front desk and was kindly reminded that the staff was running a little behind because of the holiday.  It was expected, doctors, nurses, and all support staff are humans, and I would hope they would be able to enjoy some aspect of their life outside of treating cancer patients.  Up to this point, the longest we had ever waited in the lobby was no more than 15-20 minutes, Tuesday, we had waited for an hour and forty-five minutes.  Already we were getting exhausted, and the procedure hadn’t even started.  No meetings with the oncologist scheduled this week, so no other updates from that front.

 

We finally get situated to our favorite “pod” where the process always starts with Lauren’s blood draw to go over her vitals and to make sure there aren’t any issues with her platelets and white blood cells that would prevent her from getting treatment. All results came back within an acceptable range. The new treatment plan is entirely different medication from the previous infusion. Lauren is now receiving intravenously Paclitaxel (Taxol) and Carboplatin, which according to the Mayo clinic, in laymen’s terms, they both state the following, “…belongs to the group of medicines called antineoplastics. It interferes with the growth of cancer cells, which are eventually destroyed.” Before the infusion of the two medications started, Lauren was given a syringe of Benadryl. One might ask why Benadryl? Apparently, the medications Lauren was about to receive may trigger some histamines in her body and good ole Benadryl to the rescue. As one nurse stated, “At least you’ll be able to relax because you were just slipped a Beny”. 🥴  The amount of fluids in the IV bags were significantly smaller, however the rate of flow the medicine was entering Lauren’s body was much slower than before. It was a seriously tiring and long day. We left our house at 9:45 AM and finally left the facility at around 4:45 PM. The drive home, Lauren was knocked out.

I have been keeping an eye on her as this round of treatment is new territory for me and for Lauren.  Lauren has been doing well, the fatigue is not as bad, but she does seem to be getting nauseous a bit more than the previous medication.  We have decided to certify our lovely bitch cat Zoey as a live in nurse.  I think I might fire her because she tends to sleep on the job a lot, shit in this funky box full of sand, and speak some language I can’t seem to understand.  She does seem to do a good job of begging for food, and we are both suckers that cave in.  We love her to death.

 

I can't believe mom put this horrible uniform on me.

Thank you again to all friends and family who check in on us, help us out with daily duties, and who constantly send their love and support.  We can’t thank you enough.

Love,

Chris (no seafood for me) 🤮

Happiness 6-27-2022

I was talking to a friend today and we were talking about how much our perspectives on life has changed. First, it made me happy that I’ve been able to change one woman’s life, to allow her to think differently, for herself, her kids and her family.  I won’t share who it was because the only thing that matters to her and I and really to this story is that our lives are forever changed with a new (or maybe just reminded and cherished) lease on life. So, it got me thinking, others should think about this too, so I’ll share with you the things I think about as I go through this and the general background of our conversation without getting into specifics. Please remember, these are the thoughts in my head and my feelings, sometimes they are gibberish but hopefully the point is understood.

First, life is short. I know that is cliche and very predictable to say, but it’s the truth. You’ve probably said this out loud to others at some point in your life, but to put it into perspective for how I think about it, just yesterday I met Chris at 17, I started my career at 24, got married at 28, today I’m 38, time flew.  And it flew by so fast that I lost track of all of the tiny little moments we’ve enjoyed over the years. Trips, dinners, experiences, etc - it’s all gone. I remember a lot of it, but what I now need to do is find ways to capture it - take more pictures, take more trips, enjoy more experiences, write it down and share it with others and most importantly not worry so much about what’s to come.  As I go through this I’m trying to remind myself of that - this will be done and in the past soon enough.  The heartache that I am putting my loved ones through, the shitty feelings/side effects of chemo, the countless jabs of a needle and anxiety of now will soon pass. All of this will be a distant memory and I’ll be beyond this and so will all of us.  As quick as life moves, I’m reminding myself to embrace it all and most importantly to start to think about how this experience has given me the opportunity to re-think how I want to live my life from here on out (and it’s also given my friend that opportunity too). 

For those that wonder how I am doing and check on me, I am doing good and truly happy!  Yeah, you probably thinking I’m crazy for saying that, especially coming from a girl who has Cancer and is going through chemotherapy and has surgeries coming in the near distant future, plus probably a lifetime of doctors appointments to monitor this stupid thing (Cancer is stupid) but it’ll be gone in no time and I can go about my days being with the ones I love and that it was I’m trying to remember and hold onto - that is the lesson for today, tomorrow and all the days to come - that I am genuinely happy with my life.  I appreciate it when someone thinks of me in their day to day, but what I appreciate more is that someone checks on Chris.  What’s the most important thing to me (aside from getting better) is my relationship with my husband. My life is important and I cherish it, but in terms of tangible things I can feel, it’s him, he makes me happy; we’ve always told each other the goal of life is to just be happy - happy with ourselves as individuals, happy with our life, happy as a couple.  This weekend we went for a ride in the Jeep, I cried tears of happiness because I was able to be with him, to feel fresh air on my face (and bald head 😂), and lastly (and short lived but its worth feeling and remembering) that I was going somewhere that wasn’t to a doctors appointment.  Chris has been my rock through all of this (and so much more in life), not only is he physically doing 90% of our household upkeep, but he contributes to my mental state, the voice in my head, the only person I allow to see every side of me. He comes to every doctors appointment, holds my hand the entire way and continues to remind me what love is, what our life is about and how to enjoy being here, in our home, that we’ve built together. So, that little Jeep ride this weekend is a memory and feeling I will cherish forever and those are the things that truly make me/us happy.  So, I say this to you because 1) I am doing good and I am still happy and 2) I just ask of you, when you think of me, think of Chris too because we are happy and know that this too will pass and be behind us! 

So, all in all, that’s my schpeal for the day. Hopefully it allows you to slow down and think about how you want to live your life - ignoring others opinions of you, the craziness of this world we live in, or the next thing on your to do list - just allowing yourself to be happy. And to my friend who has continued to check on me, thank you for sharing with me, for taking care of me and for listening to me - I’m glad I’ve been able to be apart of your journey as well. 

Lastly, to share updates about my Cancer, we met with Dr. Vandermolen today. He was pleased that the tumor can’t be measured anymore! So basically the chemo is breaking down the tumor, which is what we want. It’s not to say the Cancer is not there, but the chemo is breaking it down to the point that it is starting to dissolve, so we are making great progress and for that I’m grateful and happy.  My first treatment with the new meds starts next Tuesday, 7/5, where more dissolving of this stupid Cancer will commence.  For now, we probably won’t have any updates until next week - so enjoy your week and have a Happy 4th! 🎇🎆

Xo, all my love (and happiness to you),

Lauren

6-25-2022 Update - 25% Complete

Howdy everyone.  Lauren is now 25% done with treatment as Tuesday!

 

For those who have been keeping up with the treatment plan, infusion was once every two weeks, four sessions total, with two chemo medications (and a plethora of other meds to keep Lauren comfortable).  This 4^th treatment hit Lauren a bit harder as she was much more tired two days post treatment than she has experienced in previous infusions.  Other than that, side effects remained the same (nausea, fatigue, funny tastes, etc).

Lauren bringing the fashion to her chemo appointment with her Golden Goose glitter sneakers 🤗

Starting 7/5, Lauren’s treatment plan will done weekly, for 12 sessions.  From our understanding, the nurses and Dr. Vandermolen have told us that the first round of chemo medications that Lauren has completed were the toughest and that these two new chemo medications won’t put as much stress on the body, but they won’t make her feel any worse (or better), but things should just be more consistent, specifically with tiredness because there is no weekly break in between.  

 

We are both anxious to see how these next round of meds goes, as we’ve learned to adapt and adjust to the first round, so we’ll be monitoring and keeping track to see how the week of 7/5 turns out.  

 

Lauren met with the therapist again this past week, it’s been good for her because as much as family and friends and myself continue to give her positive feedback, it’s good for her to get an outside perspective on some of her worries.  The therapist feels that Lauren is doing great and will meet with her on an as needed basis versus regularly scheduled sessions.  Lauren recognizes a lot of her worries are fears of the unknown with each next chapter we face, so the meetings with the therapist will help to combat those fears, as they arise.  

 

We appreciate everyone’s willingness to read our blog and even inquire when we plan on updating it.  It’s heartwarming to hear when someone tells us that they’ve read the blog, so please continue to share with us if we’ve made you laugh, cry, or become more educated – as that is our goal and it helps us to continue to talk about this journey.

 

To make light of the situation regarding Lauren’s hair, and please note, I have permission to talk about it. 😁  She still might be beating me with total hair count on her head, but the chemo medication has done some strange things naturally.  She has a few patches of her natural darker colored hair, but looking at her head, she has a ton of what I call baby hair sprouting.  Now I’m not sure if those baby hairs fall out and regrow or what’s going on, but I told Lauren she’s channeling her grandfather’s exceptionally good looks, and this is a rebirth of what’s to come for her.  We are both curious to see what the next round of meds will do to the hair, and especially what her hair will be like when she is done with chemo, but for now, I call her ‘grandpa.’

 

Grandpa Phil.  Truly a great man, and truly missed.

Love,

 

Chris & Lauren

Brief update 6-20-2022

Howdy all.

It’s been a few weeks since we last updated the blog, so I thought it would be appropriate to post something today just so you all don’t think we’ve abandoned this blog.

 

May, June, and July are brutal months for the Yerkes household.  So many birthdays, holidays, family, etc. so we have been a little preoccupied.  Thank you again to all the birthday wishes, I’m truly humbled.

 

This morning, we both woke up thinking that today was going to be Lauren’s last biweekly infusion at the clinic, however we ran into a little snag that prevented anything from happening today.  I’m confident we have mentioned in a previous posting, but before Keck medicine does any injection or infusion of any medication, they always perform a blood panel to make sure Lauren’s numbers are within an acceptable range.  Today, her liver numbers were a little elevated, so they ultimately decided to postpone the chemo treatment until tomorrow, assuming her bloodwork comes back more normalized in the morning.

 

Lauren has been doing exceptionally well with chemo and she continues to have minimal side effects, but we are always on edge because we just don’t know if something may make her feel ill.  Her white blood counts were low last week, making her more susceptible to infections and ultimately brought her energy levels down, so we kept last week mellow but otherwise she’s been doing good considering.

 

We will meet with Dr. Vandermolen next week for another exam/measurement, we hope.  We met with the nurse last week and she mentioned that the current chemo meds Lauren is on are the toughest of all meds, so when Lauren moves to weekly treatments with a different set of meds, we are hoping things will be easier but then on the flip side since its weekly Lauren will just be more tired.

 

Overall, we are both just taking each day as it comes, we knew that there would be times where we’d walk in with one intention (like today) and come out with another, so we’ll just move through each day as it comes and trust the doctors and nurses are making the right call.  We’ll take today as a positive that 1) they were monitoring her and 2) that we get another day of Lauren feeling well and enjoy this VERY hot Monday!

 

We’ll share more soon, all my best,

 

Chris

Treatment #3 and Updates

Updates and Chemo #3 Down.

This past weekend was really nice. Saturday Chris turned 40 and we celebrated with 2 virtual wine tastings and a private chef at home. Sunday we went on a 3.5 mile walk, the most I’ve done at one time since treatment began (which was my average daily before treatment began but also wore me out). Relaxed throughout the day and ended the weekend with a ride in the Jeep to watch the sunset in Long Beach.

Health updates so far.

Friday night - Chris buzzed my head even more. Come to find a patchy leopard looking design on my head. This was quite shocking but I’ve gotten used to it now and am just accepting it. I’m sure the next phase will shock me again and I’ll get used to it again. You can call me patches or leopard for now, if you’d like.  It’s pretty wild how chemo works so quickly to tackle fast growing cells, like your hair (and tumor size, I’ll get to that in a minute). As you may recall, Thursday 5/26 was when Chris buzzed my head because it was falling out like crazy and then 8 days later another buzz to find all these patches, which have already grown since Thursday. Beanies and hats are definitely my outing head coverage of choice. 

Monday (yesterday) was treatment 3. My sister-in-law sat with me during this treatment, Chris got a little break and waited or us in the lobby! Thank you again for sitting with me yesterday, Jen!  Yesterday treatment was 3 bags of anti-nausea meds - 1 small tube, 1 small bag and 1 large bag. Funny side effect about these meds, they have to insert them slowly through the tube otherwise patients will get butthole burning…so thank you nurses for going slowly 😬🤣. Followed by what I have termed my 2 Jell-O shots (red tubes of chemo meds that make your pee orange, which then I say makes me a Unicorn 🦄) and then 1 large bag of another chemo med. Followed by 2 port flushes, one that makes the back of my throat very bitter. And 3.5 hours later I get to head home. I was really tired yesterday and of course lost all color in my face again, but had no other side effects. Unfortunately I notice that on treatment days as tired as I am, I have a very hard time sleeping.  

Yesterday also consisted of a visit with the oncologist, Dr. Vandermolen. We met with him briefly, he measured my tumor prior to treatment. It was measuring 2.5 x 2.5 cm back in April and now, after 2 rounds of chemo and 2 rounds of Keytruda the little sucker is 1.5 x 1.5 cm - which made him (and of course us) very pleased!! It’s still a long road ahead based on the type of cancer I have, so 13 rounds of chemo to go and a full year of Keytruda (the immunotherapy) but it’s necessary because again my cancer is easily escapable from the ducts so they want to ensure they catch any stragglers and kill them off. But, to hear that all of this is doing it’s job is wonderful news. 

Today I have my Neulasta shot and then hoping to be able to get some work done and take some naps. Staying strong and positive as much as I can and looking forward to meeting with the therapist on Thursday so I can work through all of these emotions. I try really hard to live as normal of a life as I can. The hard parts is not being able to floss my teeth, of course losing my hair, battling the ever changing food and tummy issues, oh and not being able to workout at the capacity I was - but I know in the end this is all temporary and for that I’m grateful. 

Thank you for checking on us and thinking of us often.

All my love,

Lauren

Goodbye May

5-31-2022

The last day of May, can you believe it?  It’s almost unfathomable to think this all started almost two months ago on April 7, 2022.  

Lauren has been doing exceptionally well with the chemotherapy, better than I would have ever imagined.  All of Lauren’s side effects from the medication have been rather minor, (luckily) including:

• Fatigue

• Changes in appetite

• Changes in taste for some foods

• Aches and pains from Neulasta

• Minor cases of nausea

• Whirlwinds of emotions – rightfully so

• Hair loss, which has been the most difficult side effect thus far, but expected nonetheless

Going into this, it seemed as if there would be a solid, set in stone schedule that would be easy to figure out every day a treatment would occur.  It didn’t dawn on me during Lauren’s first chemo appointment that one of the nurses stated, “You’re going to see this place more often than you want to.”  We both assumed the nurse was trying to make light of a difficult situation, but she wasn’t far the from the truth.  As we had stated early on, the first 4 treatments occur over the course of eight weeks, one treatment every other week for the main medication.  What didn’t register was that certain medications such as Keytruda, occurs every three weeks, and naturally, it has to be injected intravenously.  Keytruda was today, a 30-minute drive to the clinic, an hour with the oncologist, an hour for the medication via IV, and another 30-minute drive home.  Additionally, after each chemo treatment, we go back the following morning for her Neulasta shot, which helps recreate her white blood cells.  We really are going to see Keck Medicine USC and the amazing staff often.  

On a positive note, Lauren has already noticed a decrease in the size of the tumor as well as how it feels when she self-examines.  Prior to chemo, the lump was dense and hard, but it is changing for the better, and changing rapidly.  We thought today when we met with Dr. Vandermolen that he wanted to measure it, but he decided to wait until this coming Monday before the medication to do a thorough observation and measurement of the tumor.  We are both anxious.

Lastly, Lauren has had a tough time with her hair.  Going into this, she kept saying that she wasn’t worried about it, but she’s taken it harder than I think she thought she would.  It’s really the only physical thing that people see in terms of her health at this point, no one sees the tumor shrinking or sees the day to day in how she is doing (except me and some close family), but the hair loss is the first visible thing someone will see when they look at her and I know that is hard. The hair loss didn’t occur after the first round of chemo but quickly came onset upon her second treatment.  To get ahead of some shock, Lauren asked me to cut her hair a little bit shorter than what many of you remember last, but certainly not as short as my hair…yet.  Side note, Andi if you are reading this, I tried my best, so sorry!   Lauren is taking it like a champ, albeit a few moments throughout the day where she gets a bit down, but I always assure her she looks beautiful (which she does), it’ll grow back unlike my hair, and it's only for a short period of time, unlike my hair.

It's shocking how many people you learn about who have or know someone who has had Breast Cancer just by striking up a conversation.  My favorite coffee spot (7-Eleven on Studebaker and Atheron in Long Beach – yes, I love 7-Eleven coffee) is owned by one of the nicest guys I’ve met, always asks me how things are going and how our house is.  Today, I quickly mentioned about Lauren’s diagnosis and come to find out that his wife who was also there this morning is a Breast Cancer survivor.  We spoke for a few minutes, and it was powerful to see him shed a tear when he talked about his wife’s experience, and he told me that Lauren is going to be okay.  It comforted me to know that there is another husband out there who just wants his wife to be okay and made me happy to know someone who has no real connection to us was sending positive vibes our way.  Lauren and I talk a lot about how people don’t ever talk about their Cancer experiences, and we often wonder why.  As hard as this all is, wouldn’t it be easier, more comfortable, less scary, etc, etc to know that others have gone through this and lived long and healthy lives?  That is our hope, to continue to do just that – talk about it and share so that maybe one day someone else will be prepared, even if just a little.  

Below is me trying my hardest to give Lauren a decent "haircut":

Love,

Chris

Chemotherapy Session - Round Two

 5-24-2022 Update – Round two of chemotherapy (Monday 5-23-2022)

I wanted to wait until the following day post chemo appointment to post an update to the blog.  There are so many thoughts going through our minds wondering if anything is going to happen that I often forget to do common things like responding to text messages, phone calls, emails, etc.

 

We did not meet with Dr. Vandermolen yesterday before the infusion therapy, but we did meet with his nurse.  She went over any questions or concerns that we may have after the first round along with answering questions we had.  Answers from the nurse will be below each question.

1.     Are there any concerns with receiving flowers from friends and family?  We heard that some flowers could cause some sensitivity issues while on chemo.

a.     No, unless she feels any discomfort or gets sensitive to certain flowers, there is nothing to be concerned about.

2.     Toothpaste and flossing, any issues we should be concerned about?

a.     Any toothpaste is fine.  Lauren should reduce the frequency she is flossing her teeth to reduce the risk of infection in the mouth.  Her immune system is already being taxed, no need to cause a separate issue that is controllable.

3.     Why does Lauren pee so much?  

a.     We all know her bladder is the size of a green pea, but it’s due to her drinking a lot of Coors Light, I mean water.

4.     Can Lauren use nail clippers?  

a.     Yes, assuming she knows how to handle one without cutting her toe or finger off.

5.     Therapist or a Licensed Clinical Social Worker?  Will elaborate below.

 

So, we got some positive news when we were speaking to the nurse yesterday morning.  It appears that Lauren may be chemotherapy tolerant and the side effects she experienced from her first round will likely be consistent from here on out.  The other good news is that Dr. Vandermolen wants to conduct another measurement of the tumor on Tuesday as he thinks it may have shrunken is size by now.  Lauren hasn’t really had any interest in monitoring the size of the tumor until yesterday, she does think it’s shrinking, and coincidently, she isn’t getting any discharge.

 

Let’s circle back to #5 above.  There are so many thoughts, expectations, and hearsay when it comes to how someone will react to chemotherapy.  Lauren has been doing an excellent job on not trying to find more information on the internet about people’s first-hand experience with chemotherapy.  She did reach out to a few, but even those who she spoke to, all had vastly different side effects.  I think Lauren is trying to understand and grapple how her body is supposed to react to this potent medication, so much so that it’s getting to her head.  I can tell her she’s doing great, give her all the support she needs, but I’m not the one that is going through this physically.  We have received a few referrals and have reached out to a few Licensed Clinical Social Workers who have experience working with cancer patients.  I think it will be great having someone who’s outside of the friends and family circle give their nonbiased thoughts and opinions about Lauren’s concerns, and mine too.

 

By now it’s been about three weeks since Lauren had her port installed, so it’s had some time to heal up nicely.  Sitting in the waiting room, Lauren’s name was finally called, and we proceed to her bay where we get situated with the nurse.  It was a different nurse from the last time we were at the clinic and just like the last one, they have all been an absolute pleasure to work with.  Before the nurse sticks the needle into Lauren’s port, they spray a cooling chemical on the skin to reduce the feeling of the needle.  Next time we are there, the nurse indicated they will use lidocaine to further reduce the feeling of the needle going into the port.  Whatever they can do reduce the feeling of the needle going into her port makes Lauren a happy camper.

 

During the entire infusion time, Lauren had a great attitude, and she was not under any pain.  By the end, she did loose most of the coloring in her face, was tired, but that was the extent of the initial onset side effects.  Unlike her first session, she did have an appetite and ate well in the evening.  

Insert hot wife picture here.

Next week when we meet with Dr. Vandermolen, we hope to give you some medical updates as to how the chemo is progressing and fighting the tumor.

 

As always, thank you to everyone for all the help and support.

 

Love,

 

Chris

Meeting with the nutritionist.

May 20, 2022

This past Friday I met with a nutritionist. I went in ready, had all my notes of what I eat on a regular basis, my workout regime detailed out and the things I enjoy or dislike, now or prior to treatment.  I share this all with her and even volunteer to send her my spreadsheet I’ve made! The first thing she asks me prior to sharing her own knowledge is, ‘can I guess what you do for a living?’ Her response after I anxiously await to see what she thinks I do for a living is….you have to be an accountant or engineer 😂. I laughed, that is very far from what I do, but I appreciate that you think I’m that smart! Guess my planning and organizational skills go beyond just the fashion industry and now are creeping into my Chemotherapy treatment!

We met for about an hour, the thing that stuck with me the most was the feedback she shared with me. She said, ‘Lauren, you seem to take really good care of yourself, you exercise, eat healthy and genuinely take the necessary steps to live a healthy life. But, I need to make sure you know, everything you’ve done thus far is 1) not a waste, it will serve you well as you go through chemotherapy, and 2) there was no way for you to prevent this from happening. There are so many outside factors that contributed to your diagnosis….the food containers we eat from, the environment in which we live, the things we put on our body (makeup, lotions, etc), those are the things you can’t control and those are all contributing factors to your diagnosis.’ Hearing this, I guess, made me happy but more importantly made me proud and determined to continue doing me and let the Chemotherapy take care of the Cancer.  I do want to remind you, Breast Cancer has various forms and it impacts 1 in every 8 women in their lifetime - so all of these outside factors are really a large factor, unfortunately.

What I learned (or maybe what I was reminded of) regarding my diet during chemotherapy goes as follows:

- eat small meals

- eat what I can, when I can

- know that there will be days where every smell, every food could bother me or peak my interest in the matter of an hour (this is a challenge for someone who has planned meals each week for years. And as a side note, if I see you, avoid any strong perfumes or lotions, apparently this can be nauseating for someone going through chemo)

- eating foods at room temperature or cold will help with smells

- protein shakes will be important

- donuts or pizza may be all I can stomach on any given day, let go of the want to be healthy at every meal and just eat

- my love for food will come back once this is over (thank goodness for that!)

- use bamboo or plastic silverware to help with the metallic tastes I could experience

- bland (aka boring) food will be my friend - womp, womp, womp (hummus, avocado, sandwiches, melons, plain chicken, potatoes)

- foods could taste very salty or very sweet, even if they are not to the normal palette

- if I experience mouth sores from the chemotherapy avoid acidic and spicy foods

- be prepared to loose muscle weight in the beginning and in turn to gain weight towards the end of treatment…walking, strength training will serve me well

So, my motto has been day by day, but now it’s become hour by hour. Food is my friend through treatment, whether I enjoy it or not, only time will tell. So, all in all, a helpful hour of time, we’ll meet throughout my treatment to combat any issues I may face, but my diet will be what it will be and I’ll continue to get in my protein, veggie, naturally sweetened necessities as much as possible.  This cookie & wine loving girl is definitely cutting back on the sweets and alcohol…all in moderation but even more so than before treatment/diagnosis. 

Overall, this past week was good, I felt like myself for 5 or so days and for that I’m grateful. Ready (and anxious) for treatment #2!

XO,

Lauren