7-31-2022 Update

Another month down! I have now completed 4 of 12 sessions for these new meds. Overall I am 50% complete with chemo (8 of 16 rounds done), 60% if you count it in weeks and 84 days in…but who’s counting?!😬🤷🏼‍♀️😂  I am trying not to get too focused on how many days or weeks are left and focus on the number of treatments since each time I go in for treatment, it’s never a guarantee based on how my blood work is. The morning of treatments I am anxious for whether I’ll be able to complete the treatment or not, my body has little time to recover in between so it’s always nerve wracking when I go in. They now ask me my stress levels prior to treatment and when they asked last week, I said it was a 5, with 10 being the max. I thought this was a good neutral answer considering a 5 is how I feel the mornings of and then it drops to probably a 1 post, little did I know a 5 makes them question if you need to talk to a therapist. We’ll, I quickly replied that I have talked to her a few times and the topic was dropped, now I know never say 5 unless I am consistently stressed, which I am not!  I read books, watch shows, color, work on my puzzle - there’s nothing stressful about that! I’ve slowed down and tried to allow my body to rest so my stress levels are light. 

This past week was a little rough as I have gotten more and more tired. I’ve learned that Tuesday - Thursday are the hardest.  Tuesdays I am exhausted because I haven’t slept the night before from all the chemo meds, even with the help of Ambien I am lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep.  Wednesday’s and Thursday's I am tired and very emotional (poor Chris gets lots of tears) from lack of sleep, menopause and just the want for this to be over so I can feel normal again.  Friday - Sunday I feel pretty good, just have funny food issues, and continue to work through what tastes decent vs good. Fruits, particularly mangoes, plums and peaches have been my favorite. Lots of smoothies and soft pretzels are another go to. My energy levels on these days are slightly better but I still get winded and try not to overdo it throughout the day. 

My eyelashes have fallen out and there are very few left now and my eyebrows have thinned out quite a bit, luckily, I still have some dye on my brows from when I had microblading done a few years that I can pencil them in easily. The rest of the hair on my body doesn’t grow and shaving my legs is probably done once a week, with an electric razor so I don’t cut myself, and honestly not sure it even does anything when I use it. I had to stop with the waterpark because it made my gums bleed, so that was a bit of a bummer, but at least I can still brush my teeth!

Chris and I had a picnic at a local park last night, watched the sunset and enjoyed the evening. It was nice to get out of the house; we’ll try to make this our new date nights until this is over and I can eat normally and am not a walking immunity risk, as I’ve said before I’m doing everything I can not to delay this any longer than I need to!  We had planned to take the Jeep out, but it is now out of commission for a bit, poor Chris, think good thoughts that it gets fixed soon…for both of our sake’s!  For those that don’t know, this was his 40th birthday present, he has a love/hate relationship with it while I have a pure love for it, but I am not the one busting my knuckles, burning myself and cursing at it, so when something goes right on it, I’m happy and so is he. She’s 37 years old, she’s not a spring chicken!

That’s all for now, thanks again for all the check ins and support. Sending our love!

 

Lauren (and Chris)

July 22 Update

 7-21-2022 Update

 

Hi, it’s Chris!

 

Lauren signed up for a walk in Newport for October 23, with the hopes that by then she’ll be done with treatment and can participate.  It’s through the American Cancer Society and is to support Breast Cancer research.  The goal is to be able to complete the walk, but Lauren understands that it might not be in the cards for her considering it could be so soon after treatment, so she’ll be recruiting whoever would like to participate in the walk and share in case you have the time to support her and Cancer research.  It is a fundraiser and of course we aren’t people who like to ask for money, but for once in our life, we are going to ask for you to support the research that has gone into freeing Lauren of Cancer.  If you’d like to join the walk, save the date!  If you’d like to support Cancer research, donate here:  Making Strides Against Breast Cancer - Lauren Yerkes

 

NO PRESSURE!  We don’t want money or sympathy; we just want this to be over and past us so we can go on with our lives and are grateful for funding that has already gone into making Lauren better.

 

It’s Friday!  Another treatment down for Lauren, one baby step close to a sense of normalcy in the Yerkes household.  This post will be two parts.  The first part will be about Lauren and how she is doing, how things are progressing thus far, and what’s to come.  The second part I will talk about me and how it’s been thus far.  It is up to you if you choose to read it or not.

 

Monday the 18^th

 

It’s been a little over three months since we first started writing about Lauren’s cancer diagnosis and more than two months since she started chemotherapy.  There is no sense of time for us.  Lauren and I often talk about how this process is taking forever, but then we think about how far we are into the process and how fast this whole process took over our lives at a lightning pace.  

 

Monday, we started the day speaking to Dr. Vandermolen prior to Lauren’s infusion.  It was a rather quick meeting just to check up on Lauren to see how she has been doing and to address a few questions Lauren had during the weekly infusion treatments.  No measurements were done, we assumed it’s due to the fact it cannot be accurately measured at this point.  The weekly infusions are different medications, which comes with different side effects, and we are having to adjust accordingly.  Have I told you I really like grilled cheeses?

 

Infusion went well, no real issues the day of, and luckily the time we spent at the clinic was one of the shorter visits since this whole process started.  Lauren did experience more than normal bouts of nausea this week compared to last week and the week prior.  Adjusting to her energy levels and the more frequent occurrences of nausea has put me on a heightened level of making sure she’s okay.  Nolan, Eric, & Darwyn, if you’re reading this, thank you so much for being so flexible with me at work.  I can’t thank you guys enough for the support.

Benadryl working gooooooood.

I have noticed that Lauren’s appetite has changed dramatically since the weekly infusions have started.  She seems to be more sensitive to smells and tastes compared to when she was on the bi-weekly medications, and there is a lingering metallic like taste in her mouth that she just can’t seem to shake.  There have been a few times where we have started to cook dinner and midway through, I can sense there is something not right with her.  After asking the same question “are you feeling okay” a thousand times, Lauren finally admits that the smell or taste of the food is upsetting her stomach.  We usually resort to scrapping whatever we were cooking and end up with a cheese quesadilla, or luckily my favorite, grilled cheeses.  Did I mention that I like a grilled cheese, really, I do!  We are constantly trying new things that are compatible with her wonky taste buds, and despite me complaining that there seems to be a never-ending flow of grocery delivers from Instacart, we just take it in stride and try something until it works.

 

Lauren is finally starting to get some decent sleep with the help of Ambien to counteract the steroids in the most recent medication.  The sleep issues, although it was apparent in the previous infusions, was not nearly as bad as it is with this medication.  Countless restless nights that were affecting her emotionally and physically.  The Ambien seems to be working so well that when I caught some scum trying to break into our truck, Lauren woke up to me yelling at the two guys.  When she asked what was going on, I told her that I caught two guys trying to break into the truck and I scared them off.  The next morning, Lauren had no clue what had happened until I mentioned it to her.  What a trip.

 

If you care to read about my experiences as a husband going through this, I would appreciate it, and please note that I am not trying to undermine the fight Lauren is going through, it’s just that I have been rather quiet as to what’s going on in my head for those who routinely ask me how I am doing.  For the few who know me, I am a rather quite guy who tends to keep to himself, but will openly engage in a conversation about anything, and I always try to make people laugh.  I will be frank about this; it is not easy being a husband whose wife is going through a life changing event.  Although Lauren is the one who is experiencing it mentally and physically, it’s affecting everyone who is connected to her.  It’s mentally and emotionally taxing, and never in my life would I have imagined that I would be in this position, and as much as I wished this would have never happened, I am willing to do anything and fight until she is better again.  For those who haven’t gone through this, we have witnessed it vicariously online, in the media, movies & TV, and perhaps you may know someone who has battled cancer but fighting it firsthand is an entirely different experience.

 

What I find the hardest for us is the inability to live life how we did before Lauren was diagnosed with cancer.  We have never lived a lavish lifestyle, that has never been our MO, but we do enjoy our date nights to dinner when we didn’t feel like cooking, taking mini vacations, or even seeing our friends and extended family.  All of this has come to an abrupt stop, and it’s been a hell of a hard time accepting it.  When I finally dropped off social media it pained me because I loved showing my love and support of my wife and the admiration for each other.  When I created the Instagram account to share with whoever was interested in our journey, it’s hard not to notice everyone else enjoying life cancer free.  It hurts.  I stay home as much as possible because I want to be there for Lauren if she’s not feeling well or is needing me, but most importantly, I don’t want to catch anything that may cause her to get sick which will lead to treatment being push back, further prolonging this process.

 

There are a million other things I could talk about, but for now, I just wanted to skim the surface and let people know what I am thinking about as I go through this process with Lauren.  If my responses come back short or extremely delayed, please do not take offense to it or think I do not appreciate it, I really do.  Sometimes I just need to think about my response, but most importantly, I might be doing something at the time to help Lauren out and I just can’t get to my phone. 

 

We will get a new post up sooner after her next treatment this coming Monday.  Have a great weekend everyone.  I will be busting my knuckles, bleeding, bruised, swearing at my Jeep as I work on for the next two days.

Love,

Chris

Yerkes, at your service.

Lesson #2: Service. 

Plus a few updates. 

If you know me well enough you know I am a people pleaser, a service person, someone who is always trying to make someone else happy. I didn’t think I’d be able to do that once diagnosed - I wouldn’t have the energy to bake for people, to provide the level of support and share ideas at work that I’ve always loved, and most importantly to be able to truly do everything at home to help my husband. Which also, side note, my husband is the same (we both get this trait from our wonderful mothers) and aim to please.

What I’ve learned though through countless conversations, phone calls, and text messages is that I am still a service person, still giving to people but now in a new way. A way that is what I think more impactful, deeper and ultimately making me more proud than mastering that perfect cookie, being the best boss/employee or being the wife that cooks, does the laundry, makes sure the fridge is stocked or we have things to do on the weekends.

The messages and calls I’ve received have shown me that I am giving in other ways right now.

- You make me/us so proud. 

- You are my hero.

- You’ve inspired me to take more pictures, to embrace the day, to go to the doctors.

- You are teaching me (and my kids) to be brave and strong.

- You’ve reminded me that happiness is something you create, it doesn’t happen to you.

- I am so lucky to be in your life.

- I think about you all the time.

I could go on and I don’t share this to brag, that’s not my nature and those that know me know I don’t brag, but I share to explain how someone whose focused so much on servicing others through tangible things that now my intangible actions are impactful and for that I am really fucking (excuse my French) proud.  I’ve always wanted to make a difference in someone’s life, whether that be personally or professionally and with these messages I feel like I am doing just that.  I want to be someone’s hero, to make them proud of themselves or someone else and to inspire them to be strong.  I am not here to make change with things I can’t control (that’s the doctors job right now) I’m here to make change in how I approach my life and those that I touch on a daily basis. To appreciate the little things, to make you value your relationships and to cherish your health, and lastly to remind you that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel. 

And also….what I love about most of this is that these messages don’t just stop with me, they often times are about Chris too! People continue to tell me how strong he is, how articulate he is when explaining all of this medical jargon that they feel like they are apart of our journey and understand what is happening, how inspiring he is with how he brings laughter to the their day and perseveres as a supportive and loving husband. This is Chris, he wants to help, wants to educate, wants to laugh and make others laugh. 

We are The Yerkes, at your service ☺️.

So this is my lesson for the day, I am still servicing, but in other ways.  I learn something new everyday about myself, my cancer, life, relationships, etc and I didn’t think my first lesson on Happiness would continue to spark so many other learnings that would help me to think about things beyond one instance, but it has and I hope that it continues so I can keep sharing. Lesson #3 is already cultivating and I’ll share once I have all the facts, but it’s purely that…factual and hopefully insightful.

And updates regarding treatment and side effects. I have completed #2 of 12 with my weekly meds! We met with Dr. Vandermolen yesterday as well. He did a brief check on my lymph nodes, legs (to make sure there is no swelling), side effect check/questions answered and sent me upstairs for my infusion. 

1. Weekly meds so far seem to be much easier to manage. 

2. Sleeping is still a challenge and I’ve now hit pre-menopause, which we knew would happen, so the night sweats are suuuper fun.

3. Nausea is much better, I had one day of it last week vs 5-7 days of it on the previous meds.

4. Metallic tastes are more apparent with these meds, thanks to the Carboplatin.

5. The bone pain I experienced late last week was not due to the Newlasta shot I would receive during the previous meds but is now due to a side effect of Taxol and should subside after a few treatments as my body gets used to it. This one seems so minor but when I take a shower, want a hug or get the smallest embrace, my shoulder blades and even through my jaw, its extremely sensitive. 

6. The feeling of heavy legs is a side effect of these new meds, I’m just being cautious especially when getting up and down stairs so as not to fall.

7. I can get a water pick (yahoo!) since I can’t floss my teeth.

8. As each week progresses they’ll continue to monitor my white blood cells and my ANC to make sure I don’t hit neutropenia. If anything drops below the norm this will delay my treatment and also create more trips up to Keck for blood checks. 

That’s it for now! We’ll update again soon.  Lots of love, Lauren

OMG and, I wanted to share because it made me a happy girl this weekend! We spent the evening at my sister and brother in laws house on Saturday and our niece and nephew made me Happy (lesson #1 captured). You can’t tell in this picture but my head is covered in blonde baby hairs that don’t grow past maybe 1/4”. Chris and my sister have now called me Baby Bird. Kane also told me, ‘hey, put your hair back on lady’ 😂, thanks Bubba for the laugh! And both kids enjoyed rubbing my head and taking my head scarf and asking if they could mimic being bald 😜, being a cowboy, a bank robber, a rockstar, etc. 

July 7 Update

 7-7-2022 Update

Happy July to everyone.  Hope everyone had a great holiday spending time with friends and family and came out unscathed with all limbs and appendages intact.  Lauren and I spent the holiday enjoying our new outdoor dining table umbrella and I barbequed a nice fillet for me and some nasty sea creature (shrimp) for Lauren, played a little Jenga giant, and prepared for Lauren’s Tuesday’s infusion.  From this point on, for the next twelve sessions, Lauren will be having an infusion once a week versus once every other week.  The anxiousness of the new treatment plan weighed on us as we became accustomed to the regiment of infusions occurring every other week, a few days of her feeling like shit, and then a solid week of trying to live a normal life.

 

Tuesday started out like the other days driving down PCH to Keck Medicine in Newport Beach.  We were on time, checked in at the front desk and was kindly reminded that the staff was running a little behind because of the holiday.  It was expected, doctors, nurses, and all support staff are humans, and I would hope they would be able to enjoy some aspect of their life outside of treating cancer patients.  Up to this point, the longest we had ever waited in the lobby was no more than 15-20 minutes, Tuesday, we had waited for an hour and forty-five minutes.  Already we were getting exhausted, and the procedure hadn’t even started.  No meetings with the oncologist scheduled this week, so no other updates from that front.

 

We finally get situated to our favorite “pod” where the process always starts with Lauren’s blood draw to go over her vitals and to make sure there aren’t any issues with her platelets and white blood cells that would prevent her from getting treatment. All results came back within an acceptable range. The new treatment plan is entirely different medication from the previous infusion. Lauren is now receiving intravenously Paclitaxel (Taxol) and Carboplatin, which according to the Mayo clinic, in laymen’s terms, they both state the following, “…belongs to the group of medicines called antineoplastics. It interferes with the growth of cancer cells, which are eventually destroyed.” Before the infusion of the two medications started, Lauren was given a syringe of Benadryl. One might ask why Benadryl? Apparently, the medications Lauren was about to receive may trigger some histamines in her body and good ole Benadryl to the rescue. As one nurse stated, “At least you’ll be able to relax because you were just slipped a Beny”. 🥴  The amount of fluids in the IV bags were significantly smaller, however the rate of flow the medicine was entering Lauren’s body was much slower than before. It was a seriously tiring and long day. We left our house at 9:45 AM and finally left the facility at around 4:45 PM. The drive home, Lauren was knocked out.

I have been keeping an eye on her as this round of treatment is new territory for me and for Lauren.  Lauren has been doing well, the fatigue is not as bad, but she does seem to be getting nauseous a bit more than the previous medication.  We have decided to certify our lovely bitch cat Zoey as a live in nurse.  I think I might fire her because she tends to sleep on the job a lot, shit in this funky box full of sand, and speak some language I can’t seem to understand.  She does seem to do a good job of begging for food, and we are both suckers that cave in.  We love her to death.

 

I can't believe mom put this horrible uniform on me.

Thank you again to all friends and family who check in on us, help us out with daily duties, and who constantly send their love and support.  We can’t thank you enough.

Love,

Chris (no seafood for me) 🤮