Happiness 6-27-2022

I was talking to a friend today and we were talking about how much our perspectives on life has changed. First, it made me happy that I’ve been able to change one woman’s life, to allow her to think differently, for herself, her kids and her family.  I won’t share who it was because the only thing that matters to her and I and really to this story is that our lives are forever changed with a new (or maybe just reminded and cherished) lease on life. So, it got me thinking, others should think about this too, so I’ll share with you the things I think about as I go through this and the general background of our conversation without getting into specifics. Please remember, these are the thoughts in my head and my feelings, sometimes they are gibberish but hopefully the point is understood.

First, life is short. I know that is cliche and very predictable to say, but it’s the truth. You’ve probably said this out loud to others at some point in your life, but to put it into perspective for how I think about it, just yesterday I met Chris at 17, I started my career at 24, got married at 28, today I’m 38, time flew.  And it flew by so fast that I lost track of all of the tiny little moments we’ve enjoyed over the years. Trips, dinners, experiences, etc - it’s all gone. I remember a lot of it, but what I now need to do is find ways to capture it - take more pictures, take more trips, enjoy more experiences, write it down and share it with others and most importantly not worry so much about what’s to come.  As I go through this I’m trying to remind myself of that - this will be done and in the past soon enough.  The heartache that I am putting my loved ones through, the shitty feelings/side effects of chemo, the countless jabs of a needle and anxiety of now will soon pass. All of this will be a distant memory and I’ll be beyond this and so will all of us.  As quick as life moves, I’m reminding myself to embrace it all and most importantly to start to think about how this experience has given me the opportunity to re-think how I want to live my life from here on out (and it’s also given my friend that opportunity too). 

For those that wonder how I am doing and check on me, I am doing good and truly happy!  Yeah, you probably thinking I’m crazy for saying that, especially coming from a girl who has Cancer and is going through chemotherapy and has surgeries coming in the near distant future, plus probably a lifetime of doctors appointments to monitor this stupid thing (Cancer is stupid) but it’ll be gone in no time and I can go about my days being with the ones I love and that it was I’m trying to remember and hold onto - that is the lesson for today, tomorrow and all the days to come - that I am genuinely happy with my life.  I appreciate it when someone thinks of me in their day to day, but what I appreciate more is that someone checks on Chris.  What’s the most important thing to me (aside from getting better) is my relationship with my husband. My life is important and I cherish it, but in terms of tangible things I can feel, it’s him, he makes me happy; we’ve always told each other the goal of life is to just be happy - happy with ourselves as individuals, happy with our life, happy as a couple.  This weekend we went for a ride in the Jeep, I cried tears of happiness because I was able to be with him, to feel fresh air on my face (and bald head 😂), and lastly (and short lived but its worth feeling and remembering) that I was going somewhere that wasn’t to a doctors appointment.  Chris has been my rock through all of this (and so much more in life), not only is he physically doing 90% of our household upkeep, but he contributes to my mental state, the voice in my head, the only person I allow to see every side of me. He comes to every doctors appointment, holds my hand the entire way and continues to remind me what love is, what our life is about and how to enjoy being here, in our home, that we’ve built together. So, that little Jeep ride this weekend is a memory and feeling I will cherish forever and those are the things that truly make me/us happy.  So, I say this to you because 1) I am doing good and I am still happy and 2) I just ask of you, when you think of me, think of Chris too because we are happy and know that this too will pass and be behind us! 

So, all in all, that’s my schpeal for the day. Hopefully it allows you to slow down and think about how you want to live your life - ignoring others opinions of you, the craziness of this world we live in, or the next thing on your to do list - just allowing yourself to be happy. And to my friend who has continued to check on me, thank you for sharing with me, for taking care of me and for listening to me - I’m glad I’ve been able to be apart of your journey as well. 

Lastly, to share updates about my Cancer, we met with Dr. Vandermolen today. He was pleased that the tumor can’t be measured anymore! So basically the chemo is breaking down the tumor, which is what we want. It’s not to say the Cancer is not there, but the chemo is breaking it down to the point that it is starting to dissolve, so we are making great progress and for that I’m grateful and happy.  My first treatment with the new meds starts next Tuesday, 7/5, where more dissolving of this stupid Cancer will commence.  For now, we probably won’t have any updates until next week - so enjoy your week and have a Happy 4th! 🎇🎆

Xo, all my love (and happiness to you),

Lauren

6-25-2022 Update - 25% Complete

Howdy everyone.  Lauren is now 25% done with treatment as Tuesday!

 

For those who have been keeping up with the treatment plan, infusion was once every two weeks, four sessions total, with two chemo medications (and a plethora of other meds to keep Lauren comfortable).  This 4^th treatment hit Lauren a bit harder as she was much more tired two days post treatment than she has experienced in previous infusions.  Other than that, side effects remained the same (nausea, fatigue, funny tastes, etc).

Lauren bringing the fashion to her chemo appointment with her Golden Goose glitter sneakers 🤗

Starting 7/5, Lauren’s treatment plan will done weekly, for 12 sessions.  From our understanding, the nurses and Dr. Vandermolen have told us that the first round of chemo medications that Lauren has completed were the toughest and that these two new chemo medications won’t put as much stress on the body, but they won’t make her feel any worse (or better), but things should just be more consistent, specifically with tiredness because there is no weekly break in between.  

 

We are both anxious to see how these next round of meds goes, as we’ve learned to adapt and adjust to the first round, so we’ll be monitoring and keeping track to see how the week of 7/5 turns out.  

 

Lauren met with the therapist again this past week, it’s been good for her because as much as family and friends and myself continue to give her positive feedback, it’s good for her to get an outside perspective on some of her worries.  The therapist feels that Lauren is doing great and will meet with her on an as needed basis versus regularly scheduled sessions.  Lauren recognizes a lot of her worries are fears of the unknown with each next chapter we face, so the meetings with the therapist will help to combat those fears, as they arise.  

 

We appreciate everyone’s willingness to read our blog and even inquire when we plan on updating it.  It’s heartwarming to hear when someone tells us that they’ve read the blog, so please continue to share with us if we’ve made you laugh, cry, or become more educated – as that is our goal and it helps us to continue to talk about this journey.

 

To make light of the situation regarding Lauren’s hair, and please note, I have permission to talk about it. 😁  She still might be beating me with total hair count on her head, but the chemo medication has done some strange things naturally.  She has a few patches of her natural darker colored hair, but looking at her head, she has a ton of what I call baby hair sprouting.  Now I’m not sure if those baby hairs fall out and regrow or what’s going on, but I told Lauren she’s channeling her grandfather’s exceptionally good looks, and this is a rebirth of what’s to come for her.  We are both curious to see what the next round of meds will do to the hair, and especially what her hair will be like when she is done with chemo, but for now, I call her ‘grandpa.’

 

Grandpa Phil.  Truly a great man, and truly missed.

Love,

 

Chris & Lauren

Brief update 6-20-2022

Howdy all.

It’s been a few weeks since we last updated the blog, so I thought it would be appropriate to post something today just so you all don’t think we’ve abandoned this blog.

 

May, June, and July are brutal months for the Yerkes household.  So many birthdays, holidays, family, etc. so we have been a little preoccupied.  Thank you again to all the birthday wishes, I’m truly humbled.

 

This morning, we both woke up thinking that today was going to be Lauren’s last biweekly infusion at the clinic, however we ran into a little snag that prevented anything from happening today.  I’m confident we have mentioned in a previous posting, but before Keck medicine does any injection or infusion of any medication, they always perform a blood panel to make sure Lauren’s numbers are within an acceptable range.  Today, her liver numbers were a little elevated, so they ultimately decided to postpone the chemo treatment until tomorrow, assuming her bloodwork comes back more normalized in the morning.

 

Lauren has been doing exceptionally well with chemo and she continues to have minimal side effects, but we are always on edge because we just don’t know if something may make her feel ill.  Her white blood counts were low last week, making her more susceptible to infections and ultimately brought her energy levels down, so we kept last week mellow but otherwise she’s been doing good considering.

 

We will meet with Dr. Vandermolen next week for another exam/measurement, we hope.  We met with the nurse last week and she mentioned that the current chemo meds Lauren is on are the toughest of all meds, so when Lauren moves to weekly treatments with a different set of meds, we are hoping things will be easier but then on the flip side since its weekly Lauren will just be more tired.

 

Overall, we are both just taking each day as it comes, we knew that there would be times where we’d walk in with one intention (like today) and come out with another, so we’ll just move through each day as it comes and trust the doctors and nurses are making the right call.  We’ll take today as a positive that 1) they were monitoring her and 2) that we get another day of Lauren feeling well and enjoy this VERY hot Monday!

 

We’ll share more soon, all my best,

 

Chris

Treatment #3 and Updates

Updates and Chemo #3 Down.

This past weekend was really nice. Saturday Chris turned 40 and we celebrated with 2 virtual wine tastings and a private chef at home. Sunday we went on a 3.5 mile walk, the most I’ve done at one time since treatment began (which was my average daily before treatment began but also wore me out). Relaxed throughout the day and ended the weekend with a ride in the Jeep to watch the sunset in Long Beach.

Health updates so far.

Friday night - Chris buzzed my head even more. Come to find a patchy leopard looking design on my head. This was quite shocking but I’ve gotten used to it now and am just accepting it. I’m sure the next phase will shock me again and I’ll get used to it again. You can call me patches or leopard for now, if you’d like.  It’s pretty wild how chemo works so quickly to tackle fast growing cells, like your hair (and tumor size, I’ll get to that in a minute). As you may recall, Thursday 5/26 was when Chris buzzed my head because it was falling out like crazy and then 8 days later another buzz to find all these patches, which have already grown since Thursday. Beanies and hats are definitely my outing head coverage of choice. 

Monday (yesterday) was treatment 3. My sister-in-law sat with me during this treatment, Chris got a little break and waited or us in the lobby! Thank you again for sitting with me yesterday, Jen!  Yesterday treatment was 3 bags of anti-nausea meds - 1 small tube, 1 small bag and 1 large bag. Funny side effect about these meds, they have to insert them slowly through the tube otherwise patients will get butthole burning…so thank you nurses for going slowly 😬🤣. Followed by what I have termed my 2 Jell-O shots (red tubes of chemo meds that make your pee orange, which then I say makes me a Unicorn 🦄) and then 1 large bag of another chemo med. Followed by 2 port flushes, one that makes the back of my throat very bitter. And 3.5 hours later I get to head home. I was really tired yesterday and of course lost all color in my face again, but had no other side effects. Unfortunately I notice that on treatment days as tired as I am, I have a very hard time sleeping.  

Yesterday also consisted of a visit with the oncologist, Dr. Vandermolen. We met with him briefly, he measured my tumor prior to treatment. It was measuring 2.5 x 2.5 cm back in April and now, after 2 rounds of chemo and 2 rounds of Keytruda the little sucker is 1.5 x 1.5 cm - which made him (and of course us) very pleased!! It’s still a long road ahead based on the type of cancer I have, so 13 rounds of chemo to go and a full year of Keytruda (the immunotherapy) but it’s necessary because again my cancer is easily escapable from the ducts so they want to ensure they catch any stragglers and kill them off. But, to hear that all of this is doing it’s job is wonderful news. 

Today I have my Neulasta shot and then hoping to be able to get some work done and take some naps. Staying strong and positive as much as I can and looking forward to meeting with the therapist on Thursday so I can work through all of these emotions. I try really hard to live as normal of a life as I can. The hard parts is not being able to floss my teeth, of course losing my hair, battling the ever changing food and tummy issues, oh and not being able to workout at the capacity I was - but I know in the end this is all temporary and for that I’m grateful. 

Thank you for checking on us and thinking of us often.

All my love,

Lauren

Goodbye May

5-31-2022

The last day of May, can you believe it?  It’s almost unfathomable to think this all started almost two months ago on April 7, 2022.  

Lauren has been doing exceptionally well with the chemotherapy, better than I would have ever imagined.  All of Lauren’s side effects from the medication have been rather minor, (luckily) including:

• Fatigue

• Changes in appetite

• Changes in taste for some foods

• Aches and pains from Neulasta

• Minor cases of nausea

• Whirlwinds of emotions – rightfully so

• Hair loss, which has been the most difficult side effect thus far, but expected nonetheless

Going into this, it seemed as if there would be a solid, set in stone schedule that would be easy to figure out every day a treatment would occur.  It didn’t dawn on me during Lauren’s first chemo appointment that one of the nurses stated, “You’re going to see this place more often than you want to.”  We both assumed the nurse was trying to make light of a difficult situation, but she wasn’t far the from the truth.  As we had stated early on, the first 4 treatments occur over the course of eight weeks, one treatment every other week for the main medication.  What didn’t register was that certain medications such as Keytruda, occurs every three weeks, and naturally, it has to be injected intravenously.  Keytruda was today, a 30-minute drive to the clinic, an hour with the oncologist, an hour for the medication via IV, and another 30-minute drive home.  Additionally, after each chemo treatment, we go back the following morning for her Neulasta shot, which helps recreate her white blood cells.  We really are going to see Keck Medicine USC and the amazing staff often.  

On a positive note, Lauren has already noticed a decrease in the size of the tumor as well as how it feels when she self-examines.  Prior to chemo, the lump was dense and hard, but it is changing for the better, and changing rapidly.  We thought today when we met with Dr. Vandermolen that he wanted to measure it, but he decided to wait until this coming Monday before the medication to do a thorough observation and measurement of the tumor.  We are both anxious.

Lastly, Lauren has had a tough time with her hair.  Going into this, she kept saying that she wasn’t worried about it, but she’s taken it harder than I think she thought she would.  It’s really the only physical thing that people see in terms of her health at this point, no one sees the tumor shrinking or sees the day to day in how she is doing (except me and some close family), but the hair loss is the first visible thing someone will see when they look at her and I know that is hard. The hair loss didn’t occur after the first round of chemo but quickly came onset upon her second treatment.  To get ahead of some shock, Lauren asked me to cut her hair a little bit shorter than what many of you remember last, but certainly not as short as my hair…yet.  Side note, Andi if you are reading this, I tried my best, so sorry!   Lauren is taking it like a champ, albeit a few moments throughout the day where she gets a bit down, but I always assure her she looks beautiful (which she does), it’ll grow back unlike my hair, and it's only for a short period of time, unlike my hair.

It's shocking how many people you learn about who have or know someone who has had Breast Cancer just by striking up a conversation.  My favorite coffee spot (7-Eleven on Studebaker and Atheron in Long Beach – yes, I love 7-Eleven coffee) is owned by one of the nicest guys I’ve met, always asks me how things are going and how our house is.  Today, I quickly mentioned about Lauren’s diagnosis and come to find out that his wife who was also there this morning is a Breast Cancer survivor.  We spoke for a few minutes, and it was powerful to see him shed a tear when he talked about his wife’s experience, and he told me that Lauren is going to be okay.  It comforted me to know that there is another husband out there who just wants his wife to be okay and made me happy to know someone who has no real connection to us was sending positive vibes our way.  Lauren and I talk a lot about how people don’t ever talk about their Cancer experiences, and we often wonder why.  As hard as this all is, wouldn’t it be easier, more comfortable, less scary, etc, etc to know that others have gone through this and lived long and healthy lives?  That is our hope, to continue to do just that – talk about it and share so that maybe one day someone else will be prepared, even if just a little.  

Below is me trying my hardest to give Lauren a decent "haircut":

Love,

Chris

Chemotherapy Session - Round Two

 5-24-2022 Update – Round two of chemotherapy (Monday 5-23-2022)

I wanted to wait until the following day post chemo appointment to post an update to the blog.  There are so many thoughts going through our minds wondering if anything is going to happen that I often forget to do common things like responding to text messages, phone calls, emails, etc.

 

We did not meet with Dr. Vandermolen yesterday before the infusion therapy, but we did meet with his nurse.  She went over any questions or concerns that we may have after the first round along with answering questions we had.  Answers from the nurse will be below each question.

1.     Are there any concerns with receiving flowers from friends and family?  We heard that some flowers could cause some sensitivity issues while on chemo.

a.     No, unless she feels any discomfort or gets sensitive to certain flowers, there is nothing to be concerned about.

2.     Toothpaste and flossing, any issues we should be concerned about?

a.     Any toothpaste is fine.  Lauren should reduce the frequency she is flossing her teeth to reduce the risk of infection in the mouth.  Her immune system is already being taxed, no need to cause a separate issue that is controllable.

3.     Why does Lauren pee so much?  

a.     We all know her bladder is the size of a green pea, but it’s due to her drinking a lot of Coors Light, I mean water.

4.     Can Lauren use nail clippers?  

a.     Yes, assuming she knows how to handle one without cutting her toe or finger off.

5.     Therapist or a Licensed Clinical Social Worker?  Will elaborate below.

 

So, we got some positive news when we were speaking to the nurse yesterday morning.  It appears that Lauren may be chemotherapy tolerant and the side effects she experienced from her first round will likely be consistent from here on out.  The other good news is that Dr. Vandermolen wants to conduct another measurement of the tumor on Tuesday as he thinks it may have shrunken is size by now.  Lauren hasn’t really had any interest in monitoring the size of the tumor until yesterday, she does think it’s shrinking, and coincidently, she isn’t getting any discharge.

 

Let’s circle back to #5 above.  There are so many thoughts, expectations, and hearsay when it comes to how someone will react to chemotherapy.  Lauren has been doing an excellent job on not trying to find more information on the internet about people’s first-hand experience with chemotherapy.  She did reach out to a few, but even those who she spoke to, all had vastly different side effects.  I think Lauren is trying to understand and grapple how her body is supposed to react to this potent medication, so much so that it’s getting to her head.  I can tell her she’s doing great, give her all the support she needs, but I’m not the one that is going through this physically.  We have received a few referrals and have reached out to a few Licensed Clinical Social Workers who have experience working with cancer patients.  I think it will be great having someone who’s outside of the friends and family circle give their nonbiased thoughts and opinions about Lauren’s concerns, and mine too.

 

By now it’s been about three weeks since Lauren had her port installed, so it’s had some time to heal up nicely.  Sitting in the waiting room, Lauren’s name was finally called, and we proceed to her bay where we get situated with the nurse.  It was a different nurse from the last time we were at the clinic and just like the last one, they have all been an absolute pleasure to work with.  Before the nurse sticks the needle into Lauren’s port, they spray a cooling chemical on the skin to reduce the feeling of the needle.  Next time we are there, the nurse indicated they will use lidocaine to further reduce the feeling of the needle going into the port.  Whatever they can do reduce the feeling of the needle going into her port makes Lauren a happy camper.

 

During the entire infusion time, Lauren had a great attitude, and she was not under any pain.  By the end, she did loose most of the coloring in her face, was tired, but that was the extent of the initial onset side effects.  Unlike her first session, she did have an appetite and ate well in the evening.  

Insert hot wife picture here.

Next week when we meet with Dr. Vandermolen, we hope to give you some medical updates as to how the chemo is progressing and fighting the tumor.

 

As always, thank you to everyone for all the help and support.

 

Love,

 

Chris

Meeting with the nutritionist.

May 20, 2022

This past Friday I met with a nutritionist. I went in ready, had all my notes of what I eat on a regular basis, my workout regime detailed out and the things I enjoy or dislike, now or prior to treatment.  I share this all with her and even volunteer to send her my spreadsheet I’ve made! The first thing she asks me prior to sharing her own knowledge is, ‘can I guess what you do for a living?’ Her response after I anxiously await to see what she thinks I do for a living is….you have to be an accountant or engineer 😂. I laughed, that is very far from what I do, but I appreciate that you think I’m that smart! Guess my planning and organizational skills go beyond just the fashion industry and now are creeping into my Chemotherapy treatment!

We met for about an hour, the thing that stuck with me the most was the feedback she shared with me. She said, ‘Lauren, you seem to take really good care of yourself, you exercise, eat healthy and genuinely take the necessary steps to live a healthy life. But, I need to make sure you know, everything you’ve done thus far is 1) not a waste, it will serve you well as you go through chemotherapy, and 2) there was no way for you to prevent this from happening. There are so many outside factors that contributed to your diagnosis….the food containers we eat from, the environment in which we live, the things we put on our body (makeup, lotions, etc), those are the things you can’t control and those are all contributing factors to your diagnosis.’ Hearing this, I guess, made me happy but more importantly made me proud and determined to continue doing me and let the Chemotherapy take care of the Cancer.  I do want to remind you, Breast Cancer has various forms and it impacts 1 in every 8 women in their lifetime - so all of these outside factors are really a large factor, unfortunately.

What I learned (or maybe what I was reminded of) regarding my diet during chemotherapy goes as follows:

- eat small meals

- eat what I can, when I can

- know that there will be days where every smell, every food could bother me or peak my interest in the matter of an hour (this is a challenge for someone who has planned meals each week for years. And as a side note, if I see you, avoid any strong perfumes or lotions, apparently this can be nauseating for someone going through chemo)

- eating foods at room temperature or cold will help with smells

- protein shakes will be important

- donuts or pizza may be all I can stomach on any given day, let go of the want to be healthy at every meal and just eat

- my love for food will come back once this is over (thank goodness for that!)

- use bamboo or plastic silverware to help with the metallic tastes I could experience

- bland (aka boring) food will be my friend - womp, womp, womp (hummus, avocado, sandwiches, melons, plain chicken, potatoes)

- foods could taste very salty or very sweet, even if they are not to the normal palette

- if I experience mouth sores from the chemotherapy avoid acidic and spicy foods

- be prepared to loose muscle weight in the beginning and in turn to gain weight towards the end of treatment…walking, strength training will serve me well

So, my motto has been day by day, but now it’s become hour by hour. Food is my friend through treatment, whether I enjoy it or not, only time will tell. So, all in all, a helpful hour of time, we’ll meet throughout my treatment to combat any issues I may face, but my diet will be what it will be and I’ll continue to get in my protein, veggie, naturally sweetened necessities as much as possible.  This cookie & wine loving girl is definitely cutting back on the sweets and alcohol…all in moderation but even more so than before treatment/diagnosis. 

Overall, this past week was good, I felt like myself for 5 or so days and for that I’m grateful. Ready (and anxious) for treatment #2!

XO,

Lauren

New mindset.

Chris and I were chatting with my in-laws last night.  We were talking about my creed and my father-in-law asked me 'do you consider yourself a Cancer patient?'  It got me thinking, I do, but only in 1 location, the doctors office.  Outside of that, I don't consider myself a 'patient,' I'm still the same Lauren/Lolo/LY, I just happen to be living with Cancer.  So, in thinking about this, I thought it made sense to then adjust my creed.  Throughout this process (exactly 6 weeks from diagnosis), I have learned a wealth of information, a lot of it shocking, but also a lot of it hugely impactful not only to my health, but how I approach things in life as well.  I also know that my learnings are not over and that this small blip of my life will be a part of me forever, continuing to learn and adapt as I go about my life.

When I wrote my creed, I was in the early stages of diagnosis (6 weeks is still early, but I've done 1 round of chemotherapy and my mindset changes daily), so at the time this was how I was feeling.  I am no expert with 1 round of chemotherapy under my belt, but I am learning and evolving and for that, I need to evolve my creed.  So, the answer to the original question 'do you consider yourself a Cancer patient,' my answer is, 90% of the time, NO.

The word patient does not define me, cancer does not define me - I am still Lauren, a caring, thoughtful, planner, baking loving, family loving, food and wine loving girl that just wants to continue to enjoy life with my favorite person in the world (my husband) and all of my family and friends.  I will live with Cancer for the time being (and I will one day live Cancer free) but I can not let it define me and be the opening to my creed throughout this journey.  So, with that, I have rephrased it slightly.  The key differences I have put in bold.

I am a woman, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a niece, a cousin, a boss.

I am a warrior and a member of multiple teams: marriage, family and work.

I serve myself, my husband, my family, my friends and all those I encounter.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never let my strength go.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, willing to learn and adapt for whatever comes my way.

I will always maintain my pride, trusting the process, the doctors and myself.

I am hopeful, strong and confident.

I stand ready to fight, accept change and destroy the cancer cells in my body.

I am the guardian of my life and my husband, family and friends are here to walk alongside me and lift me up, both physically and mentally.

I am a woman, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a niece, a cousin, a boss.

And lastly, just an update for this week.  I am feeling really good, basically like myself.  I've been able to workout with our trainer (not as strenuous, of course), take more calls, enjoy some cooking (and baking this weekend) and get out for lunch w/ my parents, dinner at my in-laws (with lots of kitty and doggy play time in between), all the while doing everything for ME.  I know next week will be another week of feeling blah (tired, finding foods to curb nausea and just focusing on my health), but I'll take the good days and enjoy them until the next round begins.  Monday is treatment 2, which means I will be 1/8th done with Phase 1 of my Breast Cancer journey - sounds small, but each step is a step forward and for that I am grateful.  Hope everyone enjoys the weekend, I'll be spending it with my Dad and husband 🥰.

All my love,

Lauren

Day 6 after chemo update.

 5-14-2022 Update

I don’t have much to share from the doctors and nurses who are treating Lauren, other than our observation post first chemo treatment.

 

As Lauren had stated, the last time we spoke to the oncologist, he confirmed that Lauren’s heart is in great shape to handle the stressors of chemotherapy and that her PET scan came back with no noticeable spread of cancer to other parts of her body or other organs.  All great news considering.

 

It has been an interesting week nonetheless as we both patiently waited for the onset of side effects from chemotherapy.  As Lauren stated in the last blog post, she had felt short little stints of nausea but was able to mitigate it with the medication prescribed by the doctor.  We are so thankful that it is working as prescribed. On Tuesday when she received her Neulasta shot, the most common side effect is something along the feeling of growing pains within her “larger bones” such as the hips, femur, and chest area.  This is caused by the medication helping her system generate white blood cells which we all know is generated within the core of those bones.  To help with the pain in the bones, the oncologist suggested that Lauren take Claritin, since it contains an antihistamine; somehow the side effects of the Neulasta shot and allergies are similar?  

 

It's now Saturday, Lauren is doing extremely well with minimal side effects.  It’s a blessing but also a total mind bender considering how much medication was pumped into her system, and everything we have seen, read, or heard from firsthand experiences.  Lauren’s energy levels are noticeably lower than before, and she takes a lot of naps, but it’s not what we had expected.    What is going on here?  Is this how it will be for the first 8 weeks?  It’s four sessions, since they are every other week, then it will be once every week for the remaining 8 weeks, but the question remains, what will happen during the next session, and what will happen when treatments are once a week?  We both had a tough time this week because we were waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the worst to come.  I didn’t want to leave her side even though she felt “okay” because I didn’t know if side effects would come swiftly and unexpectedly, my biggest fear.

 

As of now, Lauren is trying to get her energy levels back up.  She continues to walk a lot with friends, family, and even the neighbors have taken a turn.  She even went to our trainer on Friday albeit doing less intensive workouts and our trainer being mindful of her port and her right arm to make sure she doesn’t over extend it over exert herself.

 

We continue to monitor things day by day, but so far so good.  One down, 15 more to go.

 

Her port is healing extremely well and has now taken on a life of it’s own.  First it developed eyes and a nose, then it decided to pick up smoking, and now it’s turning into a troll.

5-11-2022 Morning Update

Good morning!

Just a few updates for the week. Yesterday (Tuesday, 1 day post 1st round of chemo) was not too bad. I woke up feeling a little sore in my legs and just felt tired. Took a few naps throughout the day, worked a little and got in some coloring. The nausea hasn’t been too bad, but as soon as I feel anything I pop a pill so it doesn’t get worse. I’ve been trying to eat small meals throughout the day, mostly just feel like eating chicken, carbs and fruit. I’m hoping today I can try to layer in veggies - but just trying out different foods to see how they make me feel. I can already tell eggs aren’t going to be my friend during this, the thought of it makes my stomach turn!

We got some good updates on my test results yesterday!

- PET scan, the one that would tell us if there is any additional spread, came back clear! The only thing that showed was the existing tumor we know about in my left breast. They saw something in 1 lymph node, but it didn’t come out as cancerous and they think it’s damage to a lymph node from the biopsy I had on April 1.  When I go in for surgery they will proactively remove 1-2 lymph nodes anyways just to test them again. I’ll also have another PET scan after a few treatments or at the end of my treatments, but overall very positive news. 

- MUGA scan, this was the one that looked at my heart. I scored a 70.6%, average is 50-60%, so I scored much higher which means I have a good strong heart!

- Genetic testing, the remainder of my testing came back. I don’t think we’ve touched on this too much, but here is some background. The genetic testing was done as one of my first tests (through a blood draw) to see what other types of mutations I could be susceptible to. Part of the results came back about 3 weeks ago and showed that I could get other types of breast cancers, ovarian cancer, melanoma, pancreatic cancer and prostate cancer - well, I don’t have a prostate so we can quickly rule that one out!  The others will be addressed through different preventative measures. Most likely a double mastectomy (which would happen 1 month after chemo finishes), a hysterectomy (probably before I turn 45) and then the other 2 I’ll continue to wear my sunscreen and just make sure my mom and dad (hint, hint parents), don’t develop pancreatic cancer - this one is the least of the doctors worries overall.  So the rest of the results came back yesterday and nothing else showed, so all in all good nothing else came from the testing. My sister, mom and dad will also do genetic testing in the coming months. Most likely this mutation stems from my mothers side as we are Ashkenazi Jews and this seems to be a mutation with those who have this genetic history. However, if you aren’t of Ashkenazi Jewish decent, you can still develop breast cancer. Crazy stat that no one talks about - 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime and 1 in 7 women will develop breast cancer in Orange County, CA. I only say this not to scare people but purely to get the word out - it’s significant and no one talks about it! My goal is purely to share and educate you, as this is quite significant!!

Yesterday I had a shot of neulasta which I’ll have every day after treatment. It helps to reproduce my white blood cells. It burned a little going in but no pain to my arm after. Apparently 2-3 days post shot I could experience bone pain, so will be monitoring that and taking Tylenol to alleviate any pain. 

This morning I woke up around 1:30am feeling a little nauseous and was able to take a pill and fall back asleep. Woke up feeling pretty decent today, we’ll see how the remainder of the day treats me as they say day 3 (post treatment) are the worst for most people. 

Just continuing to take each day as it comes. There’s still a long journey ahead and each day will be different, but so far been feeling ok. Just want to get back to a more consistent diet and be able to get some workouts in. Light walks have been the extent of my exercise, but it’s been 2 full days so trying to be good to myself. 

Shout out to my husband. Holding down the house, our little kitty, all the doctors appts, his own job, all the family and friend questions and keeping me motivated and comfortable. Truly, my heart explodes for you more and more each day.

And to my parents, Chris’s parents, our siblings, thank you for being there for us these past few weeks. We love you!

And everyone who keeps checking on us, you lift our spirits and we greatly appreciate you!

All my love,

Lauren

First day of chemotherapy.

 May 9, 2022

And it begins.  Going into this, I had no idea what to expect.  You see people on chemotherapy in the movies, you read about the process online or in publications, and you hear from a nurse about the side effects of the medications and the potentially bad things that can happen.  You have no idea what to think and it drives you crazy.  It really gave Lauren a great deal of anxiety not knowing how her body is going to react to the chemotherapy.  All I can do is make sure she knows I will be there every step of the way, encouraging her, and keep her in good spirits.  It’s all in the hands of the medical professionals from here on out and it feels good.

 

Today was Lauren’s first chemotherapy appointment.  We were both nervous wrecks, but excited to get the process going.  It’s an inconceivable feeling knowing that today is the day Lauren will be fighting the tumor.  Will the road be easy and pleasant, absolutely not, but I know she’s ready, willing, and able to fight.

 

The process began today with Lauren meeting with the oncologist Dr. Vandermolen to go over a few things like her MUGA Scan and her PET scan, and to go over any other questions we have.  Orange Coast Memorial Hospital neglected to send the results of the MUGA scan and the PET scan to Dr. Vandermolen, lovely.  More on this tomorrow (Tuesday) when we hope to hear the results.

 

We finally make our way to the second floor of the medical facility; this is where they administer the chemotherapy.  Every step of the way, everyone has been pleasant, and the facility is impeccable.  An RN calls Lauren’s name, and we proceed to walk down the hall to her “pod”, which closely resembles an office cubicle with a larger patient chair, and a smaller love seat for one guest.  The nurse talks to us about the process and what to expect and it begins with a blood extraction from Lauren’s port where it was sent to the lab on the first floor.  Lauren’s blood will be pulled before every chemo session to monitor her platelets and her white blood cells.  The process takes about 45 minutes from start to finish.

 

When the labs are complete, Lauren went through two IV bags of anti-nausea medication, a port rinse of saline solution to flush it out and then it was time for the chemotherapy medication.  Aside from the prick feeling of the needle going into the chemo port, Lauren did not feel any burning or cold sensation, but she did feel like something was going through her body.  Still, it pains me to see her hooked it to an IV machine with some potent medication flowing through her.

 

It was around 4:00 PM when we left the facility.  Lauren felt tired and her head felt a little fuzzy, but all in all she felt good with no signs of nausea.  We got home, I unloaded her car and she sat on the couch to watch some TV and to take a nap.  She has lost a little bit of color in her face, but I’m guessing it’s attributed to all the medication in her system.

 

I’ll be monitoring her closely as they say the side effect usually occur a day, up to 3 days after the medicine is introduced into her body.  Lastly, thank you again to all the love and support everyone.  We appreciate it, and we need it.

 

Love Chris