8-31-2022 Update - Holy hell!

Hello All,

 

This past week has been one of the worst since I began chemotherapy.  After our last update, everything turned to shit!  Wednesday day I was feeling pretty blah, just couldn’t get my nausea or stomach to feel any sort of comfort.  Wednesday evening I started to throw up making me weak on Thursday (with still the same blah feelings and stomach discomfort issues).  On top of this, I was having trouble sleeping, which wasn’t helping my overall mood.  I spoke to the nurse Thursday morning, she gave me some new meds to help with the acid in my stomach as well as an even stronger anti-nausea med that also helps with sleep.  Thursday night rolled around and again, I threw up.  On top of that my head was so fuzzy, I just didn’t feel right.  Chris called the after hours doctor at Keck and he gave us 3 options: go to the ER to get fluids, get another prescription for a heavier dose of anti-nausea med or wait until the morning and go into Keck for fluids.  We opted for the last option.  The good news with all of this was that the new meds to help with sleep, actually have worked and I’ve been able to get a good 7-8 hours of solid sleep vs my 3-5 hours of broken sleep with the Ambien.  

 

Friday morning I had 2 hours worth of fluids and anti-nausea meds.  While sitting at the appointment, I threw up again.  After the fluids I started to feel better, but was put on a ‘bland diet’ as chemo has really taken a toll on my stomach, esophagus and GI tract.  I constantly feel a pit in my stomach, have to eat small meals every 2 hours and never feel like my stomach is settled.  Saturday and Sunday resulted in the same routine – but at Hoag and both mornings at 7am.  So this past weekend we were on our way to Hoag at 6:30am for my 2 hour appointments to get fluids and anti-nausea meds.  After each round of fluids and anti-nausea meds, I felt better, but my diet has remained bland to try to not agitate my stomach even further – nothing flavorful, nothing spicy, basically toast, rice with broth, bland chicken, crackers, and Pedialyte has been the easiest.  

 

Monday rolled around and off I went for a follow up appointment with Dr. Vandermolen’s nurse.  She answered a lot of my questions and told me that basically what I am going through is very normal for the end of treatments.  My body is just consuming so much poison that it’s all catching up with me.  I need to get my eating slowly back on track by expanding my bland diet to include more fiber, as you can imagine without any fiber what happens to your poopin’ patterns (which also contributes to nausea), and to continue to take the new meds to help ease the acid in my stomach.  On top of this, my white blood cells had drastically declined so a short acting white cell booster shot was given to me on Monday to help fight off any infection.  It was a good appointment, but I was still feeling deflated and just anxious for the next treatment.  

 

Tuesday rolls around, I get everything ready for my 13thtreatment.  I have a really hard time sleeping the night before each treatment, I’m anxious and fear that they won’t be able to complete treatment due to my blood work plus just nervous for how I’ll feel post treatment as it’s getting harder and harder the further along I go.  So we head into see Dr. Vandermolen first, he asks how I am doing and I reply with ‘hanging in there.’  Typically I reply with good, but after these past few days I really feel like I am hanging in there.  He does his normal check of my lymph nodes, heart and legs and starts to ask me questions about how I’ve been feeling and what’s been going on.  I immediately start crying and telling him how this week has been hard with all the side effects, he listens and says, ‘I think we need to give you the week off to feel better.’  This is EXACTLY what I was hoping for.  Just a few days to try to get my stomach back on track, get my head back into a stronger space so I can finish out these last 4 treatments and just a small blip of feeling normal.  Dr. Vandermolen thought I was going to fight him on this and he was pleasantly surprised I did not – this is what I had wanted before I walked into the office, I had even written it in my journal a few nights before, that I would welcome a little break.  So he told me to focus on getting my food back on track as much as possible, get some rest, get some walks in, enjoy the outside and enjoy the long weekend.  So, with that I gladly walked out of that office without completing treatment #13.  I was so grateful he looked at me as a whole person vs just as a patient – he could see that it was beyond just how I felt physically, but mentally I am/was drained.  He reassured me that this week delay doesn’t impact how productive the treatments are overall.  

 

So overall, I am thankful I get a week off, but of course still anxious and in my head about these last 4 treatments.  I so badly want this to be over (as I know my husband and family do), but I fear that these next 4 weeks of treatment will be like this last week and that terrifies me.  I know the outcome of treatment will be positive and exactly what needs to happen, but getting there is still a long road ahead.  Chris taking time off from work could not have come at a better time.  Having him close by is such a relief because this past week has truly been tough and I’ve needed him more than ever before.  I’m physically exhausted, mentally drained and emotionally a wreck – lets hope these next 4 weeks go by as smooth as possible.

Love,

Lauren