April 7, 2023 - One Year Later

April 7 (10:51am to be exact), marks one year from my diagnosis.  

I’ve been pretty emotional the past week or so as today was fast approaching.  It’s been an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and pride, but on the flip side the fears and anxiety of the day of my diagnosis are resurfacing and I’m reminded of how scared we were. I think back to that day and hate that the first thing that came to my mind when the Radiologist told me I had cancer was that I wouldn’t make it to the holidays or my next birthday, my mind went to the worst possible scenario when we heard the news.  Now I know, I am stronger than I ever thought I was and so much braver than I ever wished to be and what is even more impactful, is that my husband, family and friends were right beside me the entire way.

 

As we look back at the past few years (beyond just 2022) we recognize that we’ve had some really tough years. When you search for the hardest things in life, you’ll find 5 events.  A serious illness, death of a loved one, moving, losing a job, and divorce.  Hitting 3 of the 5 hardest things in life in the span of 4 years really added up.  To take it back a bit as we continue to embrace 2023, here goes what started the lead up to 2022.

 

It began in 2019 when we sold our first home in Buena Park and bought a home in Seal Beach…hit our first hard life event, moving.  We love our house in Seal Beach, but buying/selling a home at the same time is stressful and moving is just the pits.  About 2 weeks into moving to Seal Beach my grandpa passed away, he was truly one of the best guys we had the opportunity to know and be loved by….we hit our second hard life event…death of a loved one. We talk about him often and I talked to him every night while going through chemo asking him to take care of me and our family.  Then COVID (most people’s first pandemic) hit in 2020 and it changed the world and how not only we did things but how we all had to adapt (side note, shouldn’t this be a hard life event?!).  2021 rolls around and we begin construction on our house.  This adventure was supposed to take 4 months and ended up taking 8 months, again moving twice in that 8 month span since we had to move out for construction.  Hard life event…moving, yet again.  We lived at Chris’s Uncles rental house during this time and we were able to spend so much time with him that it made a temporary home fun.  After settling into our house, one month post construction - March 5, 2022 we moved back home, BAM, we are told I had Stage 2 Breast Cancer.  Treatments, scans, surgeries, and doctors’ appointments started to pile up. Third life event, a serious illness.  All 3 events came at us in what feels like multiple slaps in the face in a short amount of time, despite it being over the course of 4 years.  We had no break. Not that any of this contributed to my cancer (since I am a BRACA carrier it was highly likely for me to be diagnosed), but 2022 was supposed to be our year to go on more vacations, get out in the world again, celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary, Chris’s 40^th birthday and really enjoy our newly remodeled home.  It was taken away from us for yet another year.  As we look back on the past 4 years there were a lot of really high highs but even bigger lows.  Through it all, we would change nothing about the past 4 years. Granted we’d want my grandpa to be alive, but we often talk about how worried he would have been to experience COVID and my cancer diagnosis. 2021/early 2022 brought us a home that we love and makes us feel calm and comforted.  

 

Fast forward to April 2022 and the remainder of the year that brought us so much pain and towards the end, pure gratitude for the end result.  The doctors, the medicine and research, the nurses, our family and friends – all contributed to curing me of cancer.  We think back and we would not have changed a thing about 2022 and how we approached our journey. We would have liked things to have been smoother towards the end, but there was nothing we could do about it, we weren’t in control.  We know we fought, and we fought REALLY hard. And as we share our story and meet new people, we find comfort in talking to those that have walked in our shoes, it has helped to heal our minds and heart and feel understood.

 

Today will always be a day that we celebrate going forward.  Celebrate the challenges we overcame, the lessons we learned and the life that we get to live.  Cheers to us, to life, to health, to happiness and to you.  

 

All our love, Chris & Lauren

Long overdue update - 3/16/2023

March 16, 2023 

How is it already March?!  Time is flying by, for the first time since last April.  We have been doing really good!  Life is starting to get back to normal but with a totally different outlook on how we live and approach things.  

 

Happenings since the last post.  Overall, we’ve been able to go out for dinner dates, enjoy dinners with family and I’ve been able to get back to training, which is loosely paused for the next week or so since I had my reconstructive surgery.  But, here is what we missed sharing since end of January.

 

February 3: I was invited to be our niece, Livie’s special person at school.  Not only was this a highlight for her, but it melted my heart and made me so proud that 1) I could be there for her and 2) that I was at a point in this journey where I could do something on my own and it didn’t involve a doctors visit or surgery.  Plus, it was fun to get her out of school early and take her on a shopping spree at Target and to meet Chris for lunch.

 

February 7: My gtube (feeding tube) was finally removed!  This was a huge win.  To see how far I had come in a 3 month period (from when it was first placed – 11/3/22) made us ecstatic.  Talk about a super unattractive/annoying piece of equipment, but it opened up not only my options for food, but our ability to go out to dinner for the first time since April 2022.  I was grateful that I had that dang tube because it literally saved my life towards the end of treatment and while I was recovering.

 

February 12 & 13: Our first night out of the house in well over a year.  We stayed at the Montage for the night and were spoiled by the hotel.  They upgraded our room to a suite, comped our bar bill, sent us so many things to our room – it was a really special night to see that our journey was allowing us to enjoy life again.  What was really cool about this getaway was that we sat at the bar and the bartender asked us what we were celebrating, we told him it was our first getaway since diagnosis.  He said he had a bout with cancer 7 years ago and never did we think we’d be in this so called ‘club,’ but its become heartwarming to hear over the past year other people’s stories and what they went through and they’ve all gotten to the other side.  

 

February 17: My port came out – HUGE in my mind to get this removed.  The port was again, not the most attractive piece of equipment and I hated feeling it when I showered or rubbed my neck.  But it served me well during treatment and I am so grateful it was there because getting poked in the arms weekly, sometimes 4-5 times a week would have been even harder on my system.  Everything went through that port (chemo meds, blood draws, hydration, blood transfusions) – it truly was the reminder of all the things that went into my body and as appreciative as I am that chemo saved my life, it was nice to bid it farewell.  

 

February 22: I had my first PET/CT Scan since I was diagnosed.  I’ll have these for the rest of my life, the cadence of them I’m not so sure of and I honestly don’t ask because I don’t want to anticipate these and build up my anxiety when my focus is just living each day and not worrying about things that haven’t happened yet – thanks to my therapist for teaching me this essential skill!  

 

March 6: The results of the PET Scan were shared with us and they were NEGATIVE/clear!!  First of many, we take the good news and hold onto it.  Dr. Vandermolen also checked my tumor marker (part of blood draws that I get monthly) and he was pleased how much it had normalized from the previous month, so March 6 was a celebration for us with much needed champagne!

 

March 13: The final push of all – my reconstructive surgery!!  The surgery went very well.  Dr. Ng was happy with my recovery from my mastectomy and was able to get through the surgery smoothly.  I feel good post surgery, am sore from where the incisions are and have to be mindful with how I move for the next few weeks, but this is much easier than the mastectomy and at this point we already know the routine and what we need to do.  I’ve talked to people who had breast surgeries and they’ve told me it’s uncomfortable and painful, but the great thing for me is that I have no nerves or feeling in my chest so the pain is really manageable and no Tylenol has been needed!

 

All in all, we are coming up to almost a year since my diagnosis.  April 7, 2022 at 10:51am, this date and time will forever be engrained in our minds.  We look back and are thrilled that we get to close this chapter.  We won’t forget the pain, fear, anxiety that we went through, but we will hold onto our strength, hope and love that helped us to survive.  On April 7, if you think of us, smile and know that although this journey will never be over for us, know that we’ve gotten through the toughest experience that we’ve ever been through, stronger and better than ever.  

 

So what’s next for us?  We will continue to keep this little blog of ours updated as things happen.  As we’ve said since day one this is something that will now be a part of our life forever and we set out wanting to share what happens during the initial steps to cure Lauren’s cancer (as we’ve done) and now to remain cancer free.

January 26, 2023 Update

1.26.2023

 

Hi All,

 

It’s been a few weeks since we updated the blog – to be honest, it’s been pretty mellow, but there have been some good learnings and great progress!

 

Our life has really started to feel like normal again, which makes us both more relaxed and happier!  I’m able to drive, do laundry, clean the house, do the dishes and most importantly cook meals again!  I didn’t drive during treatments and after surgery, for obvious reasons – I was tired, couldn’t move my arms, queasy, etc, etc. Doing stuff around the house was just exhausting for me and after surgery I wasn’t able to lift anything so everything over the past 8 months was done by my wonderful husband.  Cooking again has been so nice for the both of us, I have an appetite, love cooking and playing in the kitchen so it feels wonderful to be able to do the things I love again and Chris eats more than just rice or a grilled cheese now.  I have worked hard on walking so I’m getting in close to 2 miles a day (I did 4 miles a day and strength training before I was diagnosed), so I’ve been working on getting back to where I was.  I’m proud of myself every time I’ve been able to pass my goals…started with 0.5 miles each day for a week, built up to a mile, and so on – increasing my time each week too.  It sounds so simple, but the first week I was winded.  Even doing 12 squats a day right now puts me out of breath, I have a long way to go, but it feels good to challenge myself again.  

 

I started back at work last week after being off for 2 months – it felt like my first day of school where I got to see all my friends again.  I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I was back.  Chemo brain was such a thing during treatments, I could feel myself having a hard time focusing or would get so tired throughout the day; it feels wonderful to be back at it and contributing and using my mind again, it’s like riding a bike!

 

I can’t even put to words how amazing it is to feel like yourself again.  Treatments were really really fucking hard (excuse my French) and I remember people telling me that I wouldn’t feel like myself again until 3 months after treatment was over, which while you are going through it, time goes soooo slowly.  It was like clockwork though, I finished treatment September 26…December 17 I went cold turkey on my feeding tube and took control of how I was feeling, started walking, cooking, eating, doing things for ME and not letting the past 8 months control my life anymore.  Life is good, I’m alive, cancer free, I appreciate everything and take nothing for granted.  Chris and I play games some nights and I cherish those nights; we go on Jeep rides, and I still smile when the fresh air hits my face, I go on walks with family – I look forward to continuing to cherish the simple things in life.

 

In terms of doctor’s updates.  Here is what has been happening:

·      I’ve seen the breast surgeon, she’s happy with my progress!  I need to work on my arm movement before I go into reconstructive surgery, which is scheduled for March 13.  My right arm I can pretty much lift over my head completely, but my left arm only goes up about half way (it feels like a rubber band pulling) so I have exercises that I have to do a few times a day to get my mobility to a better place.  The fun thing about it was that Chris would wash my hair because I had a hard time lifting my arms up to do so.  We find laughter in it as we spike my hair in funny ways and take pictures of it.  I have been able to wash my hair in the sink now, which feels good and rewarding.  Going forward, I don’t have to see her for another 6 months but she will be someone I see every 6 months for the next 5 years to monitor everything.  This is a relief considering I was seeing a doctor at least once a week for months, I’ll take the separation where I can get it!

·      My plastic surgeon is very pleased with how well the hyperbaric chamber worked for my body.  I’ll see her again for a preop appointment and then go into surgery, of course with restrictions to movement again.  She has told me that this surgery is much easier since my skin has been stretched from the expanders I have in my chest.

·      The GI doctor gave me the go ahead to eat pretty much what I want.  However, I can’t eat pork (bummer because I’d love a bacon/pepperoni pizza!), steak/tough meats, spicy foods, onions and garlic.  I have to still be cautious with acidic foods as well.  But, I’m eating constantly and just trying to gain weight since I lost 25+ pounds, a lot of that being muscle too!  I get the feeding tube removed on February 7, I cannot explain how excited I am to get this darn thing out – it pulls on my stomach, is a pain to deal with because it dangles so low (I have to be careful I don’t accidentally get it in the toilet when I use the bathroom – haha!) and I have to clean it daily so there is no infection.  It’s also very challenging to wear jeans so I wear sweats and leggings every day because the tube rubs on jeans and is uncomfortable when I sit.  Plus, the plan is that once this comes out, I can eat everything I want and Chris and I can finally go out to dinner, it’s been since April 2022 that we’ve gone on a date, so we are both anxiously awaiting a night out!  Additionally, I can drink wine again!  I can only have 1-2 small glasses a week, but I’ll take it and enjoy it because I haven’t had wine since Chris’s birthday (June 4^th).

·      The oncologist (my guiding light, Dr. Vandermolen) is happy with how I’ve been doing that now I only see him monthly vs weekly!  We had a little bit of a scare about a week ago.  They draw my blood every time I go and check my white blood count, red blood count, liver and a bunch of other things.  My red blood count has been trending down for the past 2 months, on top of that I had a few days where my ankles would start to swell.  Dr. Vandermolen checked my iron, he wanted to make sure I wasn’t anemic.  All was good there and the nurse called to tell me it was good, but she brought up that my tumor marker and liver enzymes were a bit off.  The tumor marker basically measures the cancer cells in your body to see if they grow or not.  Mine were a little elevated so they wanted me to draw blood again but reassured me that these numbers can fluctuate regularly and that this was just a double check.  We patiently waited 4 days to hear that my tumor marker and liver enzyme had normalized again – phew!!  We knew that this was normal, but it still is always going to be in the back of our minds and is scary.  

 

Those are all the updates for now, lots of really great progress made and we are moving in the right direction.  Most importantly, as I’ve said before and wrote about as a life lesson, we are HAPPY!  Thank you again for everyone’s love and support through all of this, we are so very grateful.

 

We’ll continue to keep you updated and share along the way.  We are going to start working on turning our little blog posts into a book, we want to continue to share our story and find ways to impact and give hope to those going through this, whether it’s the individual or someone they are close to.  Will take some time, but we’ve opened up our once very private lives and shared our story.

 

All the best and lots of love,

Lauren

 

 

12-21-2022 Update

Hi All,

Happy Holidays!

 

Things here have been good. I’ve been healing well from surgery. I am still not allowed to lift my arms or carry anything; not sure how much longer that will be but the expanders in my chest are sewn in so I imagine at this point it won’t be until my next surgery, when they do the reconstructive portion. The surgeon has started to ‘expand’ the bags in my chest. It’s a fairly simple process and she injects saline into them little at a time. I feel nothing since all the nerves are gone which is bizarre but good because I don’t want to feel needles going into my chest. She’s been really pleased with my progress.

 

The hyperbaric has been treating me well, the doctor signed me up for an additional 10 rounds and I’ll be done with it next week. It’s quite relaxing once I’m in the chamber, just sitting and watching a movie, but I am getting over the daily task of going and not being able to do the things I want to do, like getting my life back on track.  But, I’m glad it’s working, my nipples are healing nicely and it seems like removal won’t be necessary. 

 

Feeding tube was going well until I decided Saturday that I was over it and I’ve gone cold turkey on it. I eat apple sauce, banana baby food, smoothies, juices, pasta, and a few other things by mouth. I had a 2nd endoscopy last Tuesday and the doctor was pleased with how things looked, he said the inflammation and ulcers were looking much better. The biggest change is that my duodenum has started to swell a little so that’s another thing that w

ill take time to heal. The duodenum is what connects the stomach to the small intestine. The feeding tube won’t come out until February or March and that’s when the next endoscopy will be done to see how everything has healed.  It’s kind of a pain to have a feeding tube, it hangs from right by my belly button and just gets in the way of everything, I can’t wait until it’s gone.

 

Overall, lots of progress made and I’m feeling really good.  Been able to get out for walks, eating feels good and have been slowly trying to get my strength back.  

 

I can’t wait until 2023 comes, 2022 really was the worst year for us.  We’ve had years that were challenging and things happened, but this year far surpasses anything we’ve dealt with.  I had no clue going into this how challenging it would really be.  You imagine tough, but going through it was beyond that.  I don’t even know how to describe it, but can tell you it challenged us physically, mentally, and emotionally…but, I am reminded (thanks to Chris) that every outcome throughout this journey has been positive and I will cherish that.  Farewell 2022, I will unfortunately remember you but will never allow you to control my life.  

 

Happy Holidays, may 2023 be a wonderful year!

Lauren

Aaaaaaaaaannnndddddd, we're back!

Hello everyone. 

It has been a hell of a ride for the past few weeks, so much so, that we just did not have the time or mental capacity to keep the blog updated with everything that has happened.  This is a long one, so sit back, and enjoy the ride.

 

Trying to think back to October 19 to our last blog post, there was a major revelation to one of the causes of Lauren vomiting multiple times in a day, sometimes up to 6 times, but at least 2 daily.  As last mentioned, Dr. Vandermolen requested an endoscopy to be performed.  What was revealed was that Lauren’s stomach and esophagus was covered in ulcers from the chemo medicine, but also possibly stress induced.  Immediately, Lauren’s diet changed to mashed potatoes, yogurt, and miso soup.  Even so, we knew it was only a matter of time before it would come back up.  Everything that went down, just would not stay down and it was causing a huge concern with all the nurses and the doctors, and even family.  We all could see the agony and the pain Lauren was going through not keeping any substance down, and the daily loss in weight.  There was nothing none of us could do to make things better or more comfortable for her.  Although the diagnosis of ulcers gave Lauren some sense of relief, there was still something triggering her gag reflex.  

 

A week after the endoscopy, the situation with Lauren’s vomiting continued to worsen to the point where I felt the need for her to visit the emergency room at Los Alamitos Medical Center.  We sat in the waiting room for about three hours before a room became available.  The ER nurse requested multiple tests including, a chest MRI with and without contrast, an EKG, an ultrasound of the stomach, and probably the largest blood panel I have ever seen requested. What frustrated me, and Lauren, was that everything came back normal apart from her being slightly dehydrated.  What the hell is going on with her then?  After the dust settled, we left the hospital after being there for almost 8 hours.

 

We thought we were in good hands with the first gastroenterologist, she was very receptive, very caring, then nothing.  It was like she fell off the face of the planet.  No follow up calls, appointments, etc.  We were in dire need of a new GI doctor, but no one would have been able to see us for at least a month or two.  We needed help as Lauren’s surgery date was closing in fast.  During one of the visits with Dr. Vandermolen, Lauren could sense his frustration with the inactivity and the lack of urgency from the GI doctor.  Dr. Vandermolen stepped up to the plate and reached out to his colleagues to get Lauren an appointment with a different GI doctor.  The following day, Lauren had a phone consultation with Dr. Quist who carefully explained the next steps moving forward.  Dr. Quist put in an order for Lauren to have a feeding tube installed at Hoag Hospital in Newport.  This was on our anniversary, Thursday, November 3.  We tend to celebrate our anniversary in the strangest ways sometimes. LOL

 

The procedure to to have her feeding tube surgically installed took no longer than 15 minutes, however the time for her to come out of anesthesia was about 45 minutes give or take.  While I was waiting with Lauren in her room, Dr. Quist mentioned to me that Lauren’s stomach and esophagus was covered in ulcers, and it was much worse than he had expected.  Dr. Quist also performed a biopsy of an ulcer, not to check for cancer, but to see if there were any other issues that someone may have missed.  The anesthesiologist and Dr. Quist felt that it was necessary for Lauren to stay overnight at the hospital so she can be monitored with the hopes of being discharged the following day, Friday, November 4.  Keeping in mind, that November 7 is Lauren’s scheduled surgery day, and things quickly began to feel as if the surgery was going to be pushed out.

 

Friday, November 4 comes around, and the internal medicine doctor at Hoag, along with Dr. Quist ultimately decided that Lauren should just stay at the hospital to ensure she has enough strength and the meds to get her through surgery.  The next few days at the hospital was tiring, and stressful.  In the evening of Sunday, November 6, the doctors, the surgeons, the nurses all made the call to proceed with surgery.  Talk about waiting to to the last minute. Lauren’s surgery was scheduled for 7:30 AM, so that morning I wake up early and haul ass (within the legal speed limit of course) to Hoag to be at Lauren’s bedside by 5:00 AM.  We are waiting for the next steps when at 6:30, Dr. Vandermolen comes into Lauren’s room to check in on her.  He has been an absolute saint and seeing him that morning gave us both a sense of calm and comfort knowing that things are going to be just fine.  Eventually, the nurses come get Lauren at around 7:00 AM to take her to get prepped for surgery, and off she goes.

 

I am in the waiting room with Lauren’s mom, and bear with me, I’m trying to remember the timing, but I believe it was around 9:00 AM when Dr. Guerra, the breast surgeon, gave us an update on Lauren.  Dr. Guerra said her portion of the surgery went extremely well, no issues, and that two lymph nodes were removed to be tested for cancer cells.  By now, the reconstructive surgeon, Dr. Ng is doing her part to install expanders for the reconstructive portion of the surgery.  Give or take, it was about two hours later when Dr. Ng came into the waiting area to let me know that Lauren is in recovery and that everything went as planned with absolutely no issues.

 

I proceed back to Lauren’s room on the 8^th floor at Hoag when they finally wheel her back in at about 1 PM.  Lauren looks great, but I just can’t tell if she’s in any pain, hell, she doesn’t even know herself.  At this point I mentioned to her that while she was in surgery, I went out and bought my dream car, a Porsche 911 GT3 RS.  All I got was an “okay!”.  I couldn’t remember who asked Lauren if she was in pain, maybe it was a nurse, or maybe it was her mom, but Lauren said she was not.  I quickly responded that even though she might not be in pain, our checking account is.  I guess I was the only one that thought my joke was funny.  I really didn’t get my Porsche, but I am happy that my wife is back in the room.

 

Throughout the day, nurses and doctors visit Lauren to make sure she’s doing well and that she’s keeping up with her feeding through the tube, and to administer any medication to help with the pain.  While in the room, Lauren mentions to the nurse that she is in some pain and the nurses give a small dose of morphine.  Twice she was given morphine the day of surgery, but after that, the doctors, and nurses said Tylenol would be the first line of defense, and if that did not work, then it’s the oxycodone.  

 

By now it’s Tuesday the 8^th and Lauren gets a visit from Dr. Vandermolen super early in the morning, we are talking about 5:30 AM to check in on Lauren.  What an incredible guy and doctor for really caring for his patients.  Soon after, Dr. Ng, the plastic surgeon also checks in on Lauren to make sure she’s doing well and to ultimately give Hoag the green light for Lauren to be discharged.  At noon, Lauren finally gets to go home.

 

This is a whole new thing for us.  We now must navigate feeding Lauren through her feeding tube five times a day with a nutrient filled “shake” that is the size of a small protein shake using a large syringe.  We also must drain the fluid that accumulates from her mastectomy twice a day, sponge bath Lauren, clean the house, continue doing Laundry, feed our cat, play musical chairs with the cars to keep them running, drink wine, drink more wine, have more sips of said wine, and then find something that resembles breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Most importantly, I am doing whatever I can to keep Lauren comfortable.  Initially we thought the idea of a care giver would be awesome, but they just seemed to get in the way, and they weren’t even allowed to feed Lauren.  After one day, we cancelled the service and things have been just fine.  Lauren is to the point now where she can feed herself without any issues.

 

There was one concern we ran into two days after surgery.  Lauren noticed that her left nipple became very dark in color compared to the right nipple.  I call Dr. Ng’s office at around 5:30 PM, thinking I was going to get the on-call doctor but was surprised when it was Dr. Ng who answered the phone.  We describe what is going on, she seems concerned, and she wants us to send her pictures.  Minutes after sending her pictures of both nipples, Dr. Ng calls us back and states that she is going to call Hoag’s hyperbaric treatment center for oxygen treatment.  The following morning, Hoag calls Lauren and states that she has an appoint later in the afternoon.  We have no idea what the process is like, but I have heard that it does some amazing things for recovery.  Hoag prescribed 4 weeks of treatment, 5 days a week and each session is two hours long.  It’s remarkable that even on the first day of treatment, we started seeing positive results.

 

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the oxygen.

We are adjusting to our new routines, but I can truly say that even though we have many things we must do throughout the day for Lauren post-surgery, what really helped get the load off our shoulder was when Dr. Guerra texted Lauren indicating that there were no residual cancer cells within the removed breast tissue.  As I had mentioned in our last Instagram post, Lauren is officially cancer free.  

November 14, Lauren has a follow up visit with Dr. Vandermolen to go over any post-surgery notes from the GI doctor who installed Lauren’s feeding tube as well as any biopsy post-surgical notes from the surgeons.  Being that the chemotherapy was extremely successful, as was the surgery and the positive biopsy results from the surgeon, Dr. Vandermolen indicated that Lauren will be in the cohort of cancer survivors whose likelihood of cancer coming back is extremely extremely low.

 

We are of course super pleased with the results of everything thus far.  Every test and each surgery have resulted in positive outcomes/answers, exactly what we needed to help ease our minds and move forward.  As of today, Lauren is doing good, she’s not in any pain, hasn’t thrown up in 10 days, remains positive and happy with the outcomes of everything.  She’s been taking it easy, trying to navigate introducing food back into her diet and getting used to her new, but temporary, body.  Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of support, we are looking forward to a new year so we can put this behind us.  

 

Love,

Chris

 

Look at all that hair.  Can you tell she likes cats? 

P.S. One thing we forgot to mention, we had a very successful Breast Cancer walk on October 23.  Close to 50 people showed up to support Team Lolo and we are so grateful to everyone who came out and missed those that couldn’t make it.  Thank you for supporting, Lauren didn’t stop smiling the whole walk!

October 19 Update - MRI All clear & other things.

October 19

It’s been a tumultuous few weeks, so much so that we didn’t get a chance to update the blog.

 

For those who may have missed the instagram post, Dr. Vandermolen wanted 3 tests conducted after my chemotherapy had completed to make sure there was no signs of cancer.  As discussed in one of the previous blog posts, my mammogram and ultrasound came back negative for cancer.  But the most important test was the MRI, which also came back clear!  Dr. Vandermolen was extremely happy with the results of the MRI and some of the nurses came over to congratulate me and were pleasantly surprised at how clear the results were, saying a lot of times they don’t see that in post treatment MRI’s.  

Even though Lauren has been off chemo since 9/26, the vomiting has been persistent and it occurs anywhere from 2-5 times a day.  It’s not always food that comes up or the fact that she’s not necessarily nauseous, its just a lot of mucus and bile, it’s happening so much that its taking away all of my energy.  Quite frankly, Lauren is nervous of eating too.  Dr. Vandermolen is concerned something else is going on, so he has ordered 2 additional tests on top of the H. Pylori test ordered by the GI Doctor.  Dr. Vandermolen wants an endoscopy of her upper abdomen down to the stomach to see if there are any lesions or ulcers or polyps.  The other test is an MRI of her brain to see if there are any neurological nuances causing the gag reflex in her stomach to trigger all the time.  The H. Pylori test was this past Monday at the GI Doctor’s office and the test was simple.  Lauren blew into 2 bags, 1 prior to drinking this super tart lemonade drink and the 2nd time 15 minutes past drinking the juice.  From there they’ll test both bags to see if H. Pylori bacteria is present and put her on an antibiotic.  As you would have guessed the very tart lemonade came up minutes after leaving the doctors office, of course.  The MRI of the brain is scheduled for Thursday, September 20th and the endoscopy is scheduled for Monday, September 24th, we’ll be sure to keep everyone posted.  The vomiting has been extremely hard, on both of us.  It’s exhausting, makes me anxious and there are lots of tears out of frustration and wanting it to stop.  Tastebuds have been tricky to manage during this and then the fear of ruining foods because of it are becoming harder to manage.  

Surgery is scheduled for November 7.  Of course if the vomiting hasn’t stopped, surgery will get postponed so we are anxious for next steps with the GI doctor to happen so we can get Lauren better and stronger for surgery.  It should be a fairly easy recovery from surgery from what the doctors say, just taking it easy and trying not to exert herself or move her arms much.  During this surgery, the double mastectomy will occur and the reconstructive surgeon will begin to do her part to get Lauren started on some new boobies!

Chris is heading back to work tomorrow and he is quite anxious.  Chris worries about not being around to easily help me out as much.  During the 9 weeks he’s been off, he has become accustomed to carrying for someone 24/7, taking care of the house and chores - it’s going to be an adjustment for us both.  

Lauren’s hair has been growing back quite nicely.  Some areas faster than others, but it is really soft and fluffy.  Eyelashes and eyebrows are coming back slowly, along with nose hairs - which is causing Lauren to itch and sneeze quite a bit.  Lauren was finally able to use a real razor again to shave her legs - her platelets have rebounded nicely which is why an electric razor was needed previously - but a real razor was quite a nice surprise.  

Lauren has had a lot of hydration treatments, about 3 times a week, which requires a visit to Keck.  As we look back the scheduled treatments were easy to manage but now going to Keck 3 times a week, sometimes 4, plus doctors visits, scans, ER visits, it’s become quite exhausting and time consuming to go around to all of these places.  We anxiously await the days where things are easier and less chaotic.  

Apologies for jumping around between 1st and 3rd person, Chris and I are both trying to write this together and we are both scatter brains at the moment.

Thanks to all for the love and support you continue to show us.  For those that are coming on Sunday, we look forward to seeing you there.  Lauren will be in a wheelchair as she has no strength for that long of a walk (apologies in advance if there is vomiting!), but we will miss those that can not make it.  

Love,

Chris & Lauren

Breast Cancer Walk info/update

Hi All,

 

We are 2 weeks away from the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk!  No pressure to participate, let alone donate, but I wanted to share some helpful information my sister found if you are interested in joining the walk.  Chris and I are hoping to be at the walk (won't be walking), but it depends on how I am doing and where my strength is as we get closer.  I do have shirts if you are joining the walk, my sister will have them, so please make sure you get one from her!

 

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk

Date: October 23rd 

Time: 8 am registration, 9 am walk time 

Location: Costa Mesa, CA

 

You can sign up using this link.  Follow these steps for signing up: 

 

1. Click "Join This Team" - my team is called "LOLO"

2. Fill out the email form with - it will prompt you to start an account

3. Once you've opened your account, it will ask "what drives you", feel free to click any/all that apply...

4. From there scroll down and you'll see "Whats your fundraising goal?" - this can be set as low as $1 or as high as you'd like.  This is NOT a separate fundraising goal, the funds that are raised as an individual are automatically applied to team "LOLO"

5. Continue to scroll down and fill in your contact information

6. Lastly - click Sign Up

 

Using the provided link above it will automatically prompt you to sign up under team LOLO.  Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions, and if you want to bring anyone with you, please do so!

 

Finally. Something positive. Something spectacular.

10/6/2022 Update

Last week we met with the plastic surgeon who would be performing my reconstructive surgery.  Dr. Ng was great, she was super informative and very thoughtful in how she explained things to us.  I have 2 surgeons, 1 to perform my bi-lateral mastectomy (Dr. Guerra) and the other to do the reconstructive surgery (Dr. Ng).  They work together during my mastectomy to prepare me for the reconstructive surgery that I will have 4 months later.  Once the breast tissue is removed in my first surgery, Dr. Ng comes in and places temporary ‘deflated bags’ into my chest to allow scar tissue to grow where future implants will be.  During the course of the 4 months post my mastectomy, Dr. Ng will ‘inflate’ the bags every few weeks to allow my skin to heal around what will be my new boobies.  Once everything is in place, she will go back in and place the implants in, removing the bags that were there for temporary support.  

 

NOW FOR THIS WEEK….FINALLY SOME AMAZING NEWS!

 

Monday we went to Dr. Vandermolen and I was very very anxious.  I was starting to feel depressed with how things were moving so slowly, I’ve never felt like that before – weighed down like you couldn’t get up, it was becoming extremely hard to see the end of the journey.  After writing down questions for Monday’s appointment, Dr. Vandermolen comes in, he asks how things are going; I thought I was going to be strong enough to ask him my questions, but all I could do was hand him the paper and let him read it himself while I cried.  After reading my first question of if there was any chance at this point to be done with treatment considering how my body has been responding and also considering how I’ve been feeling, he says ‘I think that is definitely an option.’  He says about 25% of patients do not complete treatment for various reasons and considering how I’ve been doing and how close we are to being done and the treatments have done what they needed that we could be DONE with chemotherapy!!!!  I broke down crying, smiling, and just could feel my body relax for the first time in months.  

 

So now that treatment is over, I can start to work on recovery, slowly.  I know it’s going to take time.  It’s been 11 days post a treatment and I still feel exhausted and am still vomiting 4-5 times a day.  Its going to take time, but I’m ok with this time because this is the time to get back to being me instead of never feeling myself and never knowing when treatments would be over.  I still have to go in for hydration and blood work and doctors visits and tests which is almost daily at this point, but it’s all for good reasons like checking my progress, keeping my body hydrated from all the vomiting, and to get me feeling better. 

 

Now yesterday, was also great news.  I had a mammogram and ultrasound scheduled per Dr. Vandermolen.  I went in, slightly nervous, but not so much because I knew in the back of my head after 5 months of chemotherapy it had worked and taken care of the tumor based on all of the feedback the doctors had given me.  I went back, did both tests and the doctor gave me the results immediately – he says, we do not detect any cancer!!  I cried again, just hearing the confirmation based on the actual imaging vs touch and assumptions was so relieving.  I walked out of the testing, my mom had taken me, I told her the good news and we both started to cry, called Chris and you could hear in his voice how happy he was, it was so heartwarming to know that after all of these months of going through this we had finally come to a great place, that the chemo did its job and that we could start to move forward.  

 

I met with the GI doctor today, she is wanting to do a H. Pylori test on me in the coming weeks to make sure I have no infection in my gut.  But, we have to wait a week or two because of a medication I have now stopped that could create a false positive.  I’ve also scheduled myself to meet with a hypnotherapist to see if he can help with the vomiting.  Trying anything I can to get this to vomiting to stop, it’s been a little over 6 weeks and it’s taking a toll on my weight, my health and my appetite.  

 

So all in all, a really really great week with lots of progress made.  I had hydration today, with an added dose of potassium (my potassium numbers had dipped for the first time – all due to the vomiting) and have it again tomorrow.  Today I felt pretty decent and know that each day, little by little, I’ll start to feel like myself again.  

9-28-2022 Update - Oye

This blog post will be a twofer being that there wasn’t an update last week. For the past three weeks, it has been a hell of a nasty rollercoaster for Lauren, both emotionally and physically. 

 

Going into Keck medicine last week to meet with Dr. Vandermolen, it’s the typical doctors visit we have had with him. Dr. Vandermolen proceeds to check Lauren’s vitals, checks her lungs, her legs & arms, and her current and past blood work reports to see if there are any trends he is concerned about.  Sure enough, Dr. Vandermolen was not pleased with Lauren’s blood results to proceed with her chemo treatment.  This will be the third week that Lauren has not had treatment.  Keep in mind, days or weeks that Lauren may not have treatment does not mean she has a free week of being able to do whatever she wants to do, or eat whatever she wants to eat.  Instead of having a chemo treatment on Tuesday, Dr. Vandermolen called for yet another blood transfusion to help bump up Lauren’s red blood cells count and her hemoglobin numbers.  

 

Tuesday would have been like any other chemo infusion day except it was Lauren’s scheduled blood transfusion at Hoag where there are no guests allows outside of the waiting room.  Even then, Hoag discourages guests from sticking around as the waiting room is set up to hold no more than six people.  I dropped Lauren off at around 8:45 in the morning, then went back home to do some chores such as cleaning up the house and doing laundry. The ominous laundry pile that never seems to get smaller in size.  By 3:00 PM, I head to Hoag to pick up Lauren from their infusion center and take her back home. 

 

The fatigue, nausea, and vomiting has been with Lauren for the past 3 weeks with no end in sight.  We had hoped that the pause in treatment would have addressed the sickness Lauren has been feeling, but it has not, not even in the slightest.  Two to three days a day for the past three weeks, Lauren has been vomiting.  Sometimes the vomit is food, sometimes it’s just bile and mucous, and sometimes it’s all the above.  Trying to keep food down for Lauren has been a challenge, trying to keep her energy levels up to be the slightest bit ambulatory has been a huge struggle.  The nurses at Keck suggest that Lauren find a Gastroenterologist (GI) to see if there is anything they can shed some light on with Lauren’s constant upset stomach.

 

Thursday we meet with the GI doctor remotely as it was the only way we were able to get an appointment at the last minute, or else we would have had to wait until late October or November. Without seeing Lauren in person, the GI doctor Indicated that Lauren may have some form of gastritis from the chemo medication, particularly Keytruda.  More medication was prescribed to help with stomach issues, it just didn’t seem to work all that well.

 

Come Saturday the 24^th, Lauren wakes up not feeling well and the vomit begins, but this time, stomach cramps ensue.  I can sense Lauren in pain and we both agree that we should take a trip to the ER to ensure she doesn’t have an intestinal blockage. We wait for Lauren to be admitted and randomly, a medical technician comes out from the restricted access door calling Lauren’s name.  Probably one of the strangest things I have seen medically in a while, there technician proceeds to draw Lauren’s blood in the waiting room.  We eventually get escorted to a room where they start giving Lauren fluids via IV, anti-nausea medication, and a small dose of morphine for the pain.  The ER doctor comes into our room and tells us they want to do an ultrasound to check to see if there is an intestinal blockage.  Great!  Not to long after, the ultrasound technician comes into our room and does a scan of Lauren’s abdomen. We patiently wait for the results.  

 

About an hour after the test, the ER doctor comes into our room to give us the results of the ultrasound.  Good news is that Lauren did not have a blockage, and the only thing they found was that Lauren’s spleen is slightly enlarged which is a side effect of the chemo medicine.

 

Sunday, September 25.

 

Not much going on other than making sure Lauren is kept comfortable despite the continued vomiting and feeling of fatigue.

 

Monday, September 26.

 

We did not meet with the doctor today, but we did proceed to the infusion floor at Keck Medicine.  Protocol at Keck is to draw blood before every infusion session to make sure her numbers are within range to proceed.  I know Lauren hates this entire process, I hate this, everyone who is near and dear to Lauren hates this, and we all see the pain inflicted onto her.   As Lauren and I are taken back to her treatment pod, the nurses always ask the typical questions like “how are you feeling?” Etc. Etc., but this time I think Lauren’s nurse knew that Lauren was not doing well with all the vomiting and fatigue.  The nurses know there is something that is triggering the vomiting, especially week three after the last treatment, but they just don’t know.  The nurses did request an EKG test at Hoag to monitor he heart since there is a correlation in women between heart issues and vomiting when chemotherapy is treating cancer.

 

Another suggestion from the nurses is the H. Pylori (Helicobacter Pylori) test.  The test looks at the bacteria in the digestive system to see if the H. Pylori bacteria is present since it can promote digestive disorders such as gastritis, ulcers, and other issues.  Reading up on the test, most people will never experience symptoms with the H. Pylori bacteria present in their digestive tract, however with Lauren’s weakened immune system, the slightest issue is magnified.

 

Tuesday, September 27

 

Back to Keck today for a hydration infusions and some anti-nausea meds through Lauren’s port.  Still pending the results of Lauren’s EKG test and the H. Pylori test.

 

Wednesday, September 28

 

I will try to get another blog posting up before the end of this week.  Lauren has another hydration infusion today, tomorrow and Friday we meet with the reconstructive surgeon and more.

 

Chris

9-17-2022 Update - Paused again

 9/17/2022 

This past week has been a bit of a whirlwind.  8 of the past 10 days were spent at the doctors office if you include last weeks visits.  These last few rounds of chemo seem to be coming very slowly and from what we are told this is very normal that things are just in a waiting pattern each week depending on how my body is responding.  

 

·      Monday: We went to Dr. Vandermolen for a check up on my blood and he wanted to get a pulse of how I was feeling after the 3 days of IV fluids I had received the days prior.  The blood results came back and Dr. Vandermolen was not happy with my hemoglobin again, along with my white blood count and my platelets, so he put a hold on my infusion for the week.  To help my white blood count, I was given a short acting white blood booster injection to help reduce any chance of infection/sickness.

·      Tuesday: Since my hemoglobin was low from Monday’s visit (7.4 and ideal is 8 in order to resume treatment) I had a 2^nd blood transfusion at Hoag.  Luckily this time it was about a 5 hour process vs the previous 8 hour process.  After the blood transfusion, I was feeling better, had more energy and my heart rate had started to normalize a bit more.  It was nice to have the same nurse I had the last time, Sherry, who was the one who is also triple negative and had just finished treatments in April.  She took great care of me and made sure that everything moved at a much faster pace than the previous appointment. 

·      Wednesday: The day started at 8am with a virtual call with a therapist.  I’ve been getting very anxious (for obvious reasons) and wanted to talk to someone that wasn’t connected to ‘cancer’ since I just want to learn how to manage my emotions and get through these last few rounds.  It was a productive call, we concluded that I’ll start meeting with her for the next 6 months every week, to help me manage all of these feelings I have about treatment and my diagnosis.  You don’t realize you need someone to help you through these things that is outside of your circle until they point out the things you don’t want to accept, like the fact that I don’t know how to personally deal with hardship, which is where I’m at in this journey – I don’t know how to mentally get through the fears and anxiety of what’s to come each week with treatment.  Next up was an appointment with Dr. Guerra, my breast surgeon, who we haven’t seen since April.  The appointment with Dr. Guerra was insightful but overwhelming.

o   She confirmed that I will have a double mastectomy, which we already assumed was going to happen based on my diagnosis, but she solidified that this is the best route to reduce the reoccurrence of cancer forming. 

o   The surgery, assuming my treatments resume in the next week, will take place sometime between November 1 – November 15.  

o   It’s a 4 hour surgery assuming everything goes smoothly and she is hoping since I have chosen to have reconstructive surgery that we can get a plastic surgeon to come in and do their portion at the same time, but that is still TBD.

o   Recovery has gotten a lot better over time and the hardest part will be not lifting my arms and not using my arms to get out of bed, off the couch, etc. 

o   Upon examination of me, she felt no tumor – which is GREAT news and what we knew was happening but nice to hear it again.

·      Thursday: Back to Dr. Vandermolen we went for another check of my blood.  My hemoglobin was much better, close to 10.5, and of course my white blood count had improved since the shot given on Monday, but my platelets still were low.  So treatment was and still is on hold until our next visit on Monday, where hopefully they will have boosted enough on their own to get my treatments back on schedule, but only time will tell.

 

We have a 3 day break from any doctors appointment, which is NICE to say the least.  My side effects this past week have just been some exhaustion where I’ve taken naps throughout the day and gone to bed early, followed by a bit of nausea and vomiting, but not nearly as much as the prior week.  I’ve started to decorate the house for Halloween to keep my find focused on something else and its fun to see cute décor in our home now that we’ve remodeled – I’m excited for the holidays more than ever this year, for various reasons.  All in all, those are the updates for the week – it’s been a lot and exhausting to go to the doctors so many days in a row, Chris and I both can’t wait until there is a possible normal week again of say maybe just 1 doctors visit….none is probably not going to be for a while, we assume.  

 

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend.  We are going to take it easy this weekend and spend time at my parents house tomorrow for dinner.

 

Monday I have my Keytruda (immunotherapy) infusion and another visit with Dr. Vandermolen to see how my platelets are, so we’ll be sure to keep everyone posted soon and, so please keep your fingers crossed my numbers are good for chemo to resume.

 

All my love,

Lauren